Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It takes a long time for me to get to the point of climax and my husband has started complaining about the "work." That’s what he calls it.
My body catches fire momentarily and then loses it several times before I actually make it to climax — if I do. And it can take 45 minutes or so. What do you suggest? — Frustrated and Fed Up, South Winnipeg
Dear Fed Up: Let the escalation of excitement to orgasm be in your control, as well as your husband’s, when you’re making love. He shouldn’t have to do all the "work" for 45 minutes or so every single time. So inform him you’re joining him in the sexy project of turning Wonderful You on, big time!
Turning a man on, as you know, is much easier, especially if he isn’t worried about something like overextended foreplay. Make a trip to a sex shop for a clitoral stimulator that gently works very well and neither of you are doing much work, except playing around and enjoying the benefits of excitement you don’t have to work for.
There are several brands now. Love Nest sex shop owner Linda Proulx suggests the new Womanizer product called Starlet, which costs less than $100. Too shy to show up at 1580 Taylor Ave. with the frosted windows? The store’s products are on their website at lovenestonline.com and you can get your packages delivered to your own little love nest.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too much at dinner again, and groaned a bit as I pushed back to stand up, and my partner said coldly, "You’re getting fat!" I looked down at his head as he sat there, and said, "And you’re going bald!"
That ended that, and we are barely talking. I am so hurt by his comment. He knows I like to cook and eat, and he loves the food I cook himself.
I must admit, I have gained almost 50 pounds since the wedding two years ago. On the other hand, his beautiful black hair is falling out, and I don’t see him doing anything about it. At least he could shave his head and look cool instead of looking like his old dad.
We have hit the ditch sex-wise and I don’t know how we get us out of this. — Avoiding Each Other, Brandon
Dear Avoiding: Very personal criticism hurts twice as much when it comes from your loved one — especially the one you are intimate with. So, even though you two can’t get the insulting words back in your mouths, you need to apologize profusely for hurting each other.
Actually, you are the luckier one because it is possible for you to lose weight many different ways.
Growing back hair is more difficult — and slower — but some people have luck with hair-growth products now available. But your husband should see a doctor to see if it would be helpful for his type of baldness and what to try.
It’s true shaved heads are cool and in fashion, and some men balance out the look with beards.
Criticism of your body by your lover hurts, but sometimes you can get past it, and when you’re over the anger, make a few changes. You can bring back a strong physical attraction to each other — or someone else. Better get this patched up fast.
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.