October 18, 2018

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Opinion

Swapping one red-headed sister for another didn't work

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 5/2/2018 (254 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a redhead and was so taken by the fiery colour of her hair that when we broke up, I went after her younger sister. My ex was so angry, she tore into her sister, and into me. What am I supposed to do? I liked that family and I love red hair.

— Nuts About Redheads, Wolseley

Dear Nuts About Redheads: Your complaint/question would make more sense if there were only one red-haired family in the province. Luckily for you, that’s not true. Buddy, you don’t need to go through a whole family in desperation, and going after a younger sister is especially uncool.

You could post something on an online dating site about your love of redheads, but that might not be appealing to people who don’t want to be loved for their hair, rather than their whole being. What about seeing a hair stylist and dying your own hair red if you love it so much? If you experiment with this, write back and let us know how it goes.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 5/2/2018 (254 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I fell in love with a redhead and was so taken by the fiery colour of her hair that when we broke up, I went after her younger sister. My ex was so angry, she tore into her sister, and into me. What am I supposed to do? I liked that family and I love red hair.

— Nuts About Redheads, Wolseley

Dear Nuts About Redheads: Your complaint/question would make more sense if there were only one red-haired family in the province. Luckily for you, that’s not true. Buddy, you don’t need to go through a whole family in desperation, and going after a younger sister is especially uncool.

You could post something on an online dating site about your love of redheads, but that might not be appealing to people who don’t want to be loved for their hair, rather than their whole being. What about seeing a hair stylist and dying your own hair red if you love it so much? If you experiment with this, write back and let us know how it goes.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I are both lonely, love-starved and sex-starved — for each other. She has started working nights and sleeps days; and I am a grad student, and I work and sleep at odd hours. Sometimes I stay up all night and work on a project and then sleep with my wife in the early morning and half the afternoon and then we wake up and have sex and it’s great. Other times we miss each other completely and don’t have sex for seven or eight days, which is way too long.

I miss her personality and her body and expressions of love. Any suggestions? I’m getting really upset and cranky with her and it’s...

— Not Her Fault, University of Manitoba

Dear Not Her Fault: Don’t schedule sex per se, but do schedule meals and dates together on a calendar for a period of a couple of weeks to a month. It’s as important as two top bosses scheduling a work calendar together. Colour in those times where you’ll be home together in a bright happy colour for a psychological lift when you look at the calendar. You know you will be together and when. Then you can use that time for cuddling, watching a movie, having sex, whatever pops up. But that is your special time, set aside.

Sex is the biological glue of a strong marriage, especially a young one. It doesn’t have to be great sex every time, just the fun/silly/passionate joining of your bodies and connection of your souls — something intimate you only do together other people don’t see, hear or share.

Since you are the one with the varying schedule, you should put more time into figuring out meeting times to be together. Your lady is always going to be home at the same time. Could you get up and make breakfast for her once in awhile when she’s coming through the door? She may be too tired for sex at that moment, but you could feed her something light such as strawberry waffles and tuck her in.

Sometimes, she may pull you into bed with her for some quick canoodling before she goes off to sleep. Or not. You can’t expect that as payment for the waffles, but what you did for her is a show of love and that will probably count for something a little bit down the road.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a high school student with a crush on a teacher who is young and single. I’m only five months away from graduating and only about six years younger than this teacher. Please help. I want to impress her before I go to university.

I’m not stupid enough think she’ll be interested in me until I’m out of university and on her level, but I’m also going to be a teacher and teach the same subjects. We have a lot in common. How can I make it so she won’t forget me? I was thinking of wearing casual blazers with my jeans and shirt, or will I just look like my father? People say I’m a good-looking guy.

— Wanting Her to Notice Me, Manitoba

Dear Wanting Her to Notice Me: Don’t start dressing like an older guy. Just be yourself and work hard at getting higher marks and sincere interest in this teacher’s subjects. Ask questions, but don’t flirt. (Guys in high school are very obvious when they flirt with older women.)

Put away that dream of coming back to dazzle her when you get old enough to teach. By then, she could be married, so don’t waste any dating time thinking she’s on the back burner. You could try to find a younger woman in university who is much like this teacher in personality, and invest your time and energy dazzling her. That would make more sense.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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