Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Funny women disarm me completely — I have no defences. They can be tall, short, fat or skinny girls and I will love them. I married a very funny woman and she died a few years ago. I swear to God I can hear her laughter in my dreams. I’m not an old man — quite the opposite.
I wrote in an online singles ad that I wanted funny women and I didn’t care what they looked like. I have had a lot of answers and some good laughs, but none of the women measured up to my wife. Should I start looking for something different and drop the "funny" requirement?
— Losing Hope for Funny Lady, North Kildonan
Dear Losing Hope: Since you love comedy so much, maybe you should start being the funny one in your world. That’s the only way you’re going to be sure to guarantee yourself humour every day of your life. And like attracts like. Consider getting a standup act together of three to five minutes' duration and hit a few of the open mic standup nights that happen weekly in Winnipeg. Look up comedy venues such as the Handsome Daughter on Thursday nights and Wee Johnny’s on Wednesdays. Phone for sign-up times. But first, go watch a few shows before you try it yourself.
What’s the worst that could happen? You fall flat on your face and make a few OK jokes. At least you got your feet wet. After your wife’s death, nothing can hurt you that badly again. So why not try it more than once, and maybe you’ll hear your wife cheering in your dreams! She didn’t want you to stay alone and feel sad, I can promise you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Love is strange. I got out of an awful marriage, and years later, I have married someone whom I love very much. We’ve been together five years now, and are planning a family. I’m having a good day and just wanted to shoot you a letter to tell you and your readers there is hope. Sometimes you get it wrong, but the person you were meant to be with might just be waiting out there.
— So Happy Now, Weston
Dear So Happy: It’s cool your second go-round went right. Thanks for writing. So many people have problems trusting enough to try again a second time. You did, and it worked. I hope the fellow who wrote in above sees there can be hope for meeting a new love down the road if you get yourself out into the world.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: On the crowded bus, I could feel this guy staring at me. I felt like I had holes in my back. There weren’t many people on the bus and I was standing close to the driver — and felt safe— so I turned around and looked. It was my ex-boyfriend from my late teens. He smiled and beckoned me to come sit with him. He said, "What are you doing on this bus?" and I said I could have asked the same of him.
We had a great chat as we headed to the same hospital and then went our separate ways, feeling warm about each other. We exchanged numbers but I didn’t expect anything to come of that. The next weekend, the phone rang and it was him. He wanted to meet for breakfast. So we met, but it was clear he didn’t have enough money to treat me or he’d have to walk home.
It appears he fell on hard times due to alcoholism, just like his dad did. Now he’s clean and sober, but he’s lost his wife and kids because of it.
Here’s the thing. I don’t want to start seeing him as intimate friends and I don’t have any of those old high school passionate feelings left for him. But I can see it in his eyes he still has them for me. I don’t want to be mean, but is it worse to keep seeing him and letting his love grow again? I feel sorry for him — he seems so lonely.
— His Old Girlfriend, West End
Dear Old GF: This would be the time to say goodbye as you aren’t feeling you want another love relationship, and you know that for sure. It’s better to cut it off as gracefully as possible now rather than let him fall hard, get his heart broken and maybe fall back into drinking again.
Please send your questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.