September 28, 2020

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Time to call daughter out on her two-timing

Opinion

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter was at work and I was at home when her boyfriend showed up at the house, by himself. He is in our small bubble of people allowed in.

He said he came to me about a "sensitive issue." It turns out he’s no longer sure she’s being true to him, and he’s worried about his health, not to mention his feelings. He told me he had already fallen in love with her.

I asked him why he didn’t ask her first, and he said he did, but also said she has lied to him before about small things, so he doesn’t trust her word 100 per cent.

I have to admit, I know she can be a first-rate liar, getting her training from some bad girlfriends way back in junior high. So, I just listened.

He’s a big guy and he didn’t cry, but he was deeply distressed, and he wanted me to get back to him if I found out there was another guy in the picture. Basically, he wanted me to spy for him.

I felt sorry for the guy — he’s a nice person — but I said I wouldn’t be his spy.

Still, I was concerned. I started watching her when I heard cars outside, and last night she got dropped off by another guy and they spent half an hour in the car. When I looked out, I could see they were making out, as the house is close to the curb.

I blinked the porch light on and off, and she came in, screaming at me.

I told her to can it, and pointed out she was cheating on her boyfriend — a nasty thing to do and unsafe COVID-wise. She said, "Mind your own business!" and I said "I will not, young lady."

I was really mad and upset! I told her to phone her boyfriend and tell him she was seeing other people.

I doubt she will, and she’s clearly dating around. Should I tell the boyfriend who came to see me, if she doesn’t do it? — Seriously Concerned About COVID-19, Winnipeg

Dear Concerned: Tell her to phone the boyfriend who visited you and tell him, or else you will. Let her get mad! Give her a chance to get the confession out that she’s dating other people.

If he comes over again, all happy and in love and it’s clear there hasn’t been any confession, tell him he needs to have a talk with her, right away. Give him a serious, meaningful look — he’ll get the idea from your previous discussion what he needs to find out.

If she lies again, you tell him. Kissing counts.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband got laid off from his regular job and got a filler job he really likes, as it’s an offshoot of his hobby. He’s doing well at it and he loves it.

Last night he sat down and told me he doesn’t want to go back to his old job and that he thought he’d stick with the new one, since they just asked him to come on board.

I asked him if there were any opportunities for advancement and more pay, and he said probably not, as if it was no big deal.

I pointed out it only brought in half of what he makes at his regular job and he said, "But, I hate that job — I have high blood pressure already, and this new job makes me happy." He said he has lots of savings and investments.

Just great. This would mean I’d have to go back to work half-time and I was finally enjoying being retired. Not fair! I’m finished working. — Unhappy Wife, Charleswood

Dear Unhappy: People live longer if they have work they enjoy and your husband "hates" his regular job. It’s very stressful to him. Now he has an opportunity to do something he loves and get a salary for it.

You’ve had some time retired and having fun, with your husband unhappily working his full-time job. Now it’s his turn to enjoy a working life and he has the chance!

Do you get retirement pay? Could you not find a part-time job you enjoy, like he does? It’s time to start looking at what might be an enjoyable half-time gig for you.

As a couple, you two may have to cut down on extras, but there will be two of you bringing in money from part-time jobs. You could be comfortable, if you stop pouting.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

Read full biography

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