January 23, 2020

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Opinion

Time to cut off pampered 'artiste'

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m tired of my husband’s criticizing glances. He knows enough not to say anything because he has made me cry before! But I can see him thinking, "She’s too fat, too many lines, too frumpy. I could do better." 

He is tall, fit, good-looking, seven years younger, and can eat a refrigerator full without gaining an ounce. He originally married me because I was so much fun and had enough money to carry us both, after a large inheritance. 

Now the situation of being grateful for being fed and housed has worn off, and he barely works. He’s an "artiste" and "the muse" just doesn’t seem to visit him when he isn’t broke. Like she visited when I met him. Then he painted up a storm and had shows and sold paintings. I look at him now and think "you lazy pretty boy!" 

He reminds me I don’t have to work either, unless I want to, but I’m in a profession I like. I work 40 hours a week, at least. 

He doesn’t leave me because what would he do for food and a place to sleep? I don’t think he cheats on me, but it’s very possible. There is no love between us anymore. I’d like to have a baby but I wouldn’t want him to be at home with it. What should I do? — Resenting the Loafer, River Heights

Dear Resenting: It’s interesting YOU married a lazy pretty boy. Were you a tad shallow yourself at one time? Don’t think he isn’t aware when he’s hurting you with "looks" to put you in your place. He also feels your silent criticism now that he’s not producing any artwork to sell. 

You don’t love him anymore, so leave him and find somebody else who’s a beautiful person on the inside, has a work ethic and wants a baby with you. Your present husband will get some of your money in the divorce settlement which will give him more than enough to invest in some paint and brushes and possibly rent a studio.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old friend on the elevator of my highrise office building, where he tells me he now works too. He quickly wormed it into the conversation that he’s no longer married to an old friend of mine from college. He called his marital state "recently single again." 

I always had a crush on this guy. What are the chances he and his wife will get back together again? — Dying to Reconnect with this Hottie, Downtown 

Dear Dying to Reconnect: Chances are much better this couple will reconnect if his wife hears he’s thinking of messing with an old friend of hers. Keep your mitts off him, until they’re filing divorce papers. Separated people are highly volatile. Who knows what can happen?

You can maybe be friendly and go to lunch once if he asks, but only if you can trust your body not to make your mouth start promising anything more. Here’s why dating him would bee a very foolish move: If he and his wife are angry with each other, he could slip it into the conversation that he saw you for lunch, say you’re "doing very well" these days, and then smile. That’s all he’d need to give her — one wicked smile.

There’s nothing like an old female "friend" who’s trying to snag a separated husband to stoke up feelings of jealousy, competition and possessiveness. That may even get the couple back together again, which may or may not be a good thing for them. (But for you, it wouldn’t be something to cheer about.)

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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