August 4, 2020

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Try to ease up if you want your sex buddy back

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This girl and I were living together for a short period during the worst part of COVID-19 self-isolating — so we wouldn’t be lonely.

Before that, we were sex buddies if we were home alone and lonely. That worked fine. The fact is, we actually live next door in an apartment block.

Surprise! When we lived together, we fought about everything from politics to sports to women’s issues. We locked horns the last time, and she took her stuff home. Now we’re back in our own apartments.

Here’s the weird part: Now that we’re "separated," I want her again as a sex buddy and she told me, "No way!"

What can we do to get things back the way they were? What’s the problem here? — Needing Her Again, Downtown

Dear Needing: You asked too soon, and "Aw, c’mon!" is never a compelling line from a lonely bull. You didn’t give her enough time to get over your annoying little scraps and come around to itching for your studly company again.

Leave her alone for 10 long nights, and then phone her to say hello. Don’t go banging on her door! Let her enjoy the conversation and a little sexy innuendo, then let her invite herself over, if she wishes. Who knows, she may come!


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in love with a voice. I have just met this average-looking man, with two degrees and a great job online, and we have talked on the phone twice.

I’m IN LOVE with his voice which is so deep and sexy I can’t stand it! I have to meet him. He laughs and says he’s "seriously attracted" to me, but there’s no hurry.

Hey, I’m willing to stay six feet away from him anywhere he wants to meet me, but he’s still balking.

I’m younger, and don’t have the education or career experience he does (yet), but I have two years of university under my belt and a high IQ. Please help me figure this out. — Bombing Out at This Stuff, University of Manitoba

Dear Bombing Out: This guy is definitely out there flirting, but he’s warning you away from his fishing hole. He may not be more than average-looking with a great voice!

It seems he’s trying to give you a compliment, and let you go. It may be a merciful catch-and-release. 

Why? He may like your looks, but may not be attracted by your age, eagerness and lack of sophistication.

Alternately, he may have fed you some big lies, and can’t chance being discovered.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mom is considered cute — petite, nice hair, good taste in business clothes — but she is clueless when it comes to job interviews online, and that’s where they have been taking place because of the coronavirus situation.

I couldn’t understand why she’s failed over and over again in her job search, until I eavesdropped. She gets a nervous giggle when she’s asked to talk about herself in interviews and sounds like a real ditz.

Without her knowing, I recorded some of it on my phone and played it back to her. To my chagrin, she went red, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She said, "I make myself sound like a stupid idiot, don’t I?"

When I didn’t disagree, she ran into her bedroom. Who can help her? I’m her son, and I’m doing a lousy job. — Brute Who Made Her Cry, Tuxedo

Dear Brute: Her best female friend, a sister or grown daughter could help her. She needs a sympathetic friend who doesn’t make her feel self-conscious.

Memorizing a short script about herself and practising it over and over on a phone camera will help reduce the giggling, blushing, stuttering and other common signs of embarrassment.

Good actors have to practise hard to take on emotional scenes and make them look spontaneous. Responding to questions in an interview is partly good acting, especially for shy people.


Please send your questions and comments to or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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