October 23, 2018

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Opinion

Visit doctor before getting back in action

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/1/2018 (273 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m embarrassed to ask this, but if you don’t have sex for a long while, do you have to go for a checkup to see if everything still works? I mean, I wouldn’t want to invite my new man into a rollicking sex situation and cause any internal damage to myself if things got rigorous.

I’m 51 and haven’t had sex since my marriage ended a few years ago and my husband was a guy who ran around. I have met a new man recently, who lost his wife to cancer, and he’s wonderful: he is loving, fun, has a great history and I think this could really go somewhere. I want to do things right. — Anxious About Sex, River Heights

Dear Anxious About Sex: Go for a checkup and be open with your doctor about your new man and what’s coming up. Talk to your doc about the amazing elasticity of the vagina. Also, ask your doctor to do a routine test for sexual diseases that can stay in your body without showing any symptoms.

This is particularly important since your ex was seeing other partners.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/1/2018 (273 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m embarrassed to ask this, but if you don’t have sex for a long while, do you have to go for a checkup to see if everything still works? I mean, I wouldn’t want to invite my new man into a rollicking sex situation and cause any internal damage to myself if things got rigorous.

I’m 51 and haven’t had sex since my marriage ended a few years ago and my husband was a guy who ran around. I have met a new man recently, who lost his wife to cancer, and he’s wonderful: he is loving, fun, has a great history and I think this could really go somewhere. I want to do things right. — Anxious About Sex, River Heights

Dear Anxious About Sex: Go for a checkup and be open with your doctor about your new man and what’s coming up. Talk to your doc about the amazing elasticity of the vagina. Also, ask your doctor to do a routine test for sexual diseases that can stay in your body without showing any symptoms.

This is particularly important since your ex was seeing other partners.

Your new sweetheart should do the same tests for sexually transmitted infections, too. Knowing you’re both disease-free is a great freedom as a couple.

Also, do you know if you can still get pregnant? Condoms are barriers to disease and pregnancy. Your age group is when the average Canadian woman goes through premenopause or full menopause, but for some it happens earlier or later.

Do you know where you are on this change? Do you need more pregnancy protection? A late-age pregnancy could be a real shock!

In your case, you should approach the upcoming sex event by carrying a lubricant and good quality lubricated condoms in your purse, so no matter where sex first happens (perhaps at his place) you are prepared and don’t need to be afraid.

Lubricants, such as Replens, claim to last a few days. By planning to use lubrication ahead of time, you take the worry out of the equation.

And don’t be frightened off! Sex is great for your health, your mood and there can’t be enough good things said about orgasms.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s this good-looking girl who works at a pharmacy near my house. She doesn’t go to my school.

The only way I can see her is to drop by the pharmacy on any excuse.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m so crazy about her — she flirts back — that I’m going in there at least five times a week and it’s costing me money every time.

She seems to like me, too. The last time she said, "So, it’s you again. What can I do for you today?"

I think she meant more than asking what product I wanted. — What Next? Winnipeg

Dear What Next: You’re getting some "come on" signs, so ask her out. If she likes you and wants to go out with you, you win! If she likes you, but has a boyfriend, you may still win. Give her your name and number and ask her to put it in her wallet, and get in touch the minute she’s free. That way you establish yourself as official backup.

If the present boyfriend screws up, she has a date, so that will give her extra confidence and she won’t put up with bad behaviour. Plus, she can now look you up on Facebook to see who you are. Think she wouldn’t do that? Ha! On her very next break, she’ll be online checking you out.

Mention you won’t be into the store every single day now that you’ve met and she has your information. She’ll know it’s up to her if she wants to get together with you.

Then look into her eyes for a few seconds, give her your best grin, then go and stay away for a few days.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

Read full biography

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