November 12, 2019

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Opinion

Want to avoid trouble? Just lose that number

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: OK, it’s about this girl I met at a nightclub. She was drunk and it was her birthday. She was collecting kisses from all the guys. I ended up in her line of vision and I kissed her and she pressed a card in my hand with her phone number. Say what? Was she doing this all over the room? Should I admire her nerve and give her a call, or throw it in the garbage and avoid a social disease?

— Cautious Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Cautious: Throw it in the garbage. She was just drunk and playing around and being super bold. Maybe it was a dare on her birthday night. At any rate, it certainly wasn’t serious, so just toss it out and smile. If you did phone the number, you might get an uncomfortable answer and have to describe yourself in detail, and she still might not remember you. Embarrassing! You don’t need that.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is an avid hunter, and I hate it. We are opposites, though we are definitely attracted to each other. She fishes and hunts and rides ATVs. I prefer video games, reading and riding my bike.

The hunting thing wasn’t a huge deal in the beginning, as it was never in my face, but this summer I walked into the garage and there was a recently dead animal in there. I almost threw up and ran back inside. She laughed and said I was "too city." How can we find some common ground on this hunting thing?

— Sickened by Her Hunting, Manitoba

Dear Sickened: Since it’s 2019 and you don’t have to go out foraging for food, you don’t have to cohabit with a hunter who brings home the kill. Most people can stand fishing if the person who fishes cleans and cooks it, but animals are another thing altogether. You’re going to have to think twice about this match you have made if she is going to continue.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just moved to Canada and work in an industry where many of the employees speak my language and are very close.

I am a middle-aged man with very good English skills (I studied it back home) and want to get out more and meet some people, maybe even some women. What would you suggest I do?

— Wanting To Meet English-Speaking People, Winnipeg

Dear Speaking: You need to get involved in some activities where people are of mixed backgrounds including English-speaking Canadians. Those activities have to be attractive to you, maybe things you participated in back home, such as sports, hobbies, environmental and/or charity interests. There you can form natural friendships through shared interests. It beats going out to bars and social events hoping to meet women, because you have something of mutual interest to talk about.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was really lucky and met a cute guy at the beach one weekend in July and we’ve been meeting back there every weekend. My parents have a cabin and he lives in the next town. We are both 18 and going to university this fall in Winnipeg. The thing is, I’m moving into a college residence and he’s moving into another one.

I think I kind of want to be free. He’s talking like we’re a couple already. How do I tell him that I really like him a lot, but I don’t want to belong to anybody?

— Need My Freedom, Still at The Cabin

Dear Needing Freedom: Don’t be too hasty. Lots of university students are very lonely in residence — at least for the first few months. Your boyfriend might be lonely, too.

You both may decide you want your freedom when you get well into residence life and have time to make some friends.

But for now, it would be wise not to dump him and then try to get him back when you find yourself lonely for him — and have him tell you to get lost.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

Read full biography

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