August 20, 2018

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Opinion

Wife can't find passion with her boring husband

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/12/2017 (236 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At a holiday party, I ran into a man I used to date. I winked at him! Fifteen minutes later, he crushed me against the back of a closed door and kissed me. It was thrilling. I haven’t been kissed like that since I was married the first time.

I’m still married for the second time, but I’m not sorry for that stolen kiss. The kisser is married, too, and both our spouses were in the living room being boring, terminally boring in my case. I am dying from the boredom of being married to my husband, who everyone thinks is perfect because he’s a doctor. He may be perfect for them, but the days he would throw me up against a door and kiss me until my bones melted never existed. If I did that to him, he would ask me what was wrong, if I was losing it and needed to see a shrink. After that kiss at the party, I am dying to start an affair with this old boyfriend of mine. He’s a rascal and I know he’d be into it. What do you think? — Hot and Wanting More, Wolseley

Dear Hot and Wanting More: Your desire for more passion is understandable, but this is not the way to solve your larger problem. An affair would provide the cloak-and-dagger feelings you would enjoy as a person who likes drama, but it doesn’t stop the daily difficulty caused by living with a man who is unknowingly sucking the oxygen out of your lungs. Boredom can kill a relationship, given enough time.

So why did you marry this second husband? Because he was fun in the beginning, because he had money or because he was handy? Please write back with details of your marriage, so I can help you with fuller advice.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/12/2017 (236 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At a holiday party, I ran into a man I used to date. I winked at him! Fifteen minutes later, he crushed me against the back of a closed door and kissed me. It was thrilling. I haven’t been kissed like that since I was married the first time.

I’m still married for the second time, but I’m not sorry for that stolen kiss. The kisser is married, too, and both our spouses were in the living room being boring, terminally boring in my case. I am dying from the boredom of being married to my husband, who everyone thinks is perfect because he’s a doctor. He may be perfect for them, but the days he would throw me up against a door and kiss me until my bones melted never existed. If I did that to him, he would ask me what was wrong, if I was losing it and needed to see a shrink. After that kiss at the party, I am dying to start an affair with this old boyfriend of mine. He’s a rascal and I know he’d be into it. What do you think? — Hot and Wanting More, Wolseley

Dear Hot and Wanting More: Your desire for more passion is understandable, but this is not the way to solve your larger problem. An affair would provide the cloak-and-dagger feelings you would enjoy as a person who likes drama, but it doesn’t stop the daily difficulty caused by living with a man who is unknowingly sucking the oxygen out of your lungs. Boredom can kill a relationship, given enough time.

So why did you marry this second husband? Because he was fun in the beginning, because he had money or because he was handy? Please write back with details of your marriage, so I can help you with fuller advice.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You made some good points to Worried She’ll Crash the Car, Downtown. That’s the woman who’s too vain to get glasses now her eyes have changed. (Miss Lonelyhearts suggested contact lenses or vision correction surgery.) But I believe it’s against the law to drive without glasses if they are needed, and her insurance will not pay out in case of an accident.

Also, how would Worried feel if he one day had to say, "I can’t live with myself as my girlfriend who needed glasses was in a serious accident. She didn’t injure herself, but she killed someone else and I could have probably prevented it if I reported her need of corrective lenses to the authorities, but I didn’t." I feel your advice needs to be revisited. — Regular Reader, Winnipeg

Dear Regular Reader: You’re right. This foolish woman’s vanity and her man’s fear of losing her are combining to make her issue a serious hazard for everyone driving, and for himself, if he’s foolish enough to get in a car with her. He needs to stand up to her and tell her he’s going to report her, take her downtown for glasses that day and get it over with.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Christmastime is when I lose sight of my teammates from a sport we play. They have extended families, travel and have many obligations during the holiday season. It’s a fast ride for all of us. I would like to have a get together with all of them without their mates and kids, where we can just hang out and relax. They are sports-minded, but I think pretty exhausted, yet we miss talking to each other. — Missing My Buddies, Fort Garry

Dear Missing My Buddies: Have you heard of Waiting To Exhale parties? On a day between Christmas and just after New Years, some groups of women in the city get together in their bathrobes and slippers in the late morning for potluck brunches and an afternoon of kicking back. Everybody arrives in slippers and bathrobes, plays upbeat music, and has a totally relaxed time visiting with each other. I’ve been to three of them over the years. One woman always plays the Bee Gees as people are coming in, which seems to hit the mood just right. Coffee is perking and liqueurs are nearby, plus there are different foods all over the table, eggs in the skillet and the smell of bacon cooking. It’s a great way to trade stories of the holiday past and reconnect as pals. Get on the phone today and make it happen.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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