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You should end your dishonest marriage

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 8/6/2013 (1533 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm passionately in love with my wife's sister. I married the younger sister when I should have married the older sister whom I dated all graduating year in high school. Then I went away to university in another province, and left her behind so I could pursue college social life freely. I broke her heart to pieces, but I was only 18! In the end I moved back to Winnipeg and she was already married to someone else. I kept running into her little sister, who had a lot of the same qualities, looks and sense of humour. We got together and got married, but she's turned out to be a poor replacement. When I see her older sister at the lake all summer, I'm entranced and so hot for her. I dream about her almost every night and I called out her name out last week. I know she and her husband aren't getting along. I wish I could take his place. My wife and I get along OK, but no real passion and no kids. She says I'm "too boring and intellectual." Must I spend my whole life with the sister I don't really want? -- Desiring the Other Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Desiring: Let's say you tell the older sister how you feel. What could happen? 1. She might tell you she's not interested in you and shatter your dream (the best result). 2. She might confess she misses you too, but won't break up the entire family over it (say hello to a lifetime of heartbreak). 3. She might say she's disgusted you revealed this, and tell you to stay far away from her! It's interesting you feel this way now. You were quite able to leave the older sister, break her heart, and go off for years without looking back -- out of sight, out of mind. Then she had to watch you court her younger sister and marry her. It'd be a smart idea for all concerned for you to end this dishonest marriage where you're actually spying on the sister. Who knows, when everything dies down, the older sister may come to you, but don't bet on it! She's suffered too much hurt and humiliation from you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a woman of 24 who met another woman at Pride Week activities and we spent days and nights together. Now all the fun is over, we are left with reality -- crazy about each other, but she's from another city -- just back here for two weeks to see family and go to the festival. I have no money. How do we continue to see each other? -- Heartsick, South End

Dear Heartsick: This happens to lots of young people in this mobile world. If your new woman is into it, you start a long-distance romance, with emails and phone calls and Skyping. If both of you want to be together enough after a few months of this going well, one of you has to move as soon as you can get a job in the other's city. Past a few months, most long-distance relationships fizzle from lack of physical closeness and companionship.

Questions or comments? Please email or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Read more by Miss Lonelyhearts.


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