Journal shows thoughts of alleged supremacist
'There is no perfect parent,' mom now laments
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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/05/2009 (5001 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
A woman who stands accused of sending her seven-year-old daughter to school covered in racist, neo-Nazi markings kept a journal throughout the child’s infancy.
Most of the spiral-bound notebook is remarkable only in its banality.
"My darling little angel," begins an entry on Dec. 28, 2000. "… I am writing in the book that you’re (sic) grandmother gave me for Christmas and just to let you know that it was the best Christmas I have ever had of course.
"I got the most wonderful present anyone could ask for (when you were born)."
She got the "present" from a much older man. They never married, but lived together for slightly more than a year.
The new mother wrote the sort of notes most moms do. She used pet names for her baby and detailed everything from her sleep patterns to eating habits.
There is no indication that, in a mere seven years, the child she called "pumpkin" would be seized by CFS, because Mom and her new partner were allegedly white supremacists.
She signed most of her entries: "Love, Mum, XOXO."
It would be some time before the mother would accuse her child of lying about the family home being a hotbed of racism and intolerance and that she and her husband encouraged violence toward minorities.
The first sign of anything unusual came in an entry written on September 12, 2001, one day after the attacks on the World Trade Center. The mother’s handwriting is frantic.
"… Thousands of innocent people were murdered, these muslims calculated for at least a year, they took pilots lessons, this is cold blooded evil, it’s absolutely disgusting, the thought of any ‘human’ being, to plot something like that let alone go through with it… "
Reached by phone Wednesday, the mom said she reacted violently to the 9/11 bombings "because my brother spent nine months in the Middle East and was there when an Israeli bomb went off."
She denies being a racist and says any White Pride conversations she and her ex-husband had were "conversations about politics and rights and duties."
In an affadavit submitted to the court she says she has cut off all ties to the White Pride community. What she doesn’t say is how long-held her views actually were.
The biological father of the girl says his ex was a good mom who was easily swayed.
"If she met a priest on Tuesday she’d be a nun by Wednesday," he says.
He blames the white supremacy thoughts on the stepfather, who sired the couple’s three-year-old son. That child has also been seized.
On Wednesday evening, the mother vehemently denied her ex-husband taught her about white supremacy.
"(The stepfather) didn’t expose me to anything," she said in an email.
"(The biological father) had met many of my skinhead friends back when I was (a teenager).
"When I met (the stepfather) I just became more vocal… I had joined army cadets when I was (young), I had a house party for my (age omitted) birthday and had skinheads as guests. I was suspended from (her high school) for wearing a swastika armband …"
CFS is seeking permanent guardianship of the children. The stepfather is fighting back, claiming his rights to freedom of expression have been violated.
In the affidavit and in testimony given by CFS workers, the mother appears to swing between calling her child a liar and accusing CFS workers of the same.
In the affidavit, she says the girl drew a swastika on her own arm and went off to school without telling her. She admits she was angry that a teacher scrubbed the girl’s arm clean, and that she redrew it in darker ink.
But the mom claims she had second thoughts and told the child to wear a sweater to cover the Nazi symbol. The girl left the sweater at home.
Just for fun, Mom let the girl draw the same symbols on her back.
As for the testimony from the CFS workers about parental neglect, untidy homes, violence between the mother and the stepfather and alcohol and drug use… well, she’s got an explanation for that, too.
"The things they are saying in court are lies," she says. "I think CFS put ideas in her head. I don’t believe for a second she said the things CFS says she said."
There is one final journal entry, dated Feb. 22, 2009.
She’s speaking directly to her now-eight-year-old daughter.
"I realize now how hard it was on you and I should have seen it before," she writes, referring to her relationship with the stepfather.
"You are an amazing little girl and you deserve the best mommy ever and I know I was and I know I can be again, my heart breaks for you and I live with so much regret from the past few years. It kills me that something I did put us here in this situation. I am so sorry honey so very very very sorry and I hope you can forgive me."
The mother sobs as the passage is read out loud over the phone.
"I’m sure there’s things we could have done better," she says finally. "There is no perfect parent."
That much, at least, is true.