Love that lasts

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This article was published 25/11/2017 (2934 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Breaking records is nothing new to Queen Elizabeth II. In 2015, the 91-year-old Elizabeth surpassed her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria, as Britain’s longest-reigning monarch.

With Tuesday’s resignation of 93-year-old Robert Mugabe as president of Zimbabwe, the Queen was handed a title she likely didn’t covet, the world’s oldest head of state.

But arguably the most impressive royal record came last Monday when the Queen and her husband, Prince Philip, celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary.

The first British monarch to reach a platinum anniversary, Elizabeth has now been married longer than any other royal, and a new photographic portrait shows the couple framed by Thomas Gainsborough’s 1781 portraits of George III and Queen Charlotte, who were married for 57 years — the second-longest royal marriage.

Today, when the average marriage in Canada lasts just 14 years, 70 years of wedded bliss is no small achievement.

The then-princess Elizabeth married naval Lt. Philip Mountbatten at Westminster Abbey on Nov. 20, 1947, just two years after the end of the Second World War, in a glittering ceremony attended by statesmen and royalty from around the world. This week’s milestone was decidedly low-key, with the couple celebrating at a private party at Windsor Castle.

Seventy years is nothing to sneeze at, but the Queen and Philip are still a few years shy of the remarkable couples on today’s awe-inspiring list of Five of the Longest Marriages in History:

5) The happy couple: Bill and Bertie Nickerson

Their time together: 80 years

Tying the knot: It seems fitting to start today’s list of marathon marriages with a Canadian couple, and they don’t come much more Canadian than Bill and Bertie Nickerson from Liverpool on Nova Scotia’s South Shore. In an interview with the CBC, Bill said it was a case of love at first sight.

He said he knew Bertie was the one for him as soon as he saw her, back in 1932. At the time, Bill was a strapping 18-year-old man and Bertie was a beautiful 15-year-old girl. “She came down these stairs,” Bill said in the interview several years ago. “I said, ‘It’s heaven.

She must have come from heaven.’” For her part, Bertie was more down to earth, noting her first impression of her future husband was that he was a “cute little fellow.” The couple dated for three years, and Bill often walked five kilometres between their homes during the prolonged courtship. On Dec. 2, 1935, they exchanged vows, a week after Bertie’s 18th birthday. Eighty years later, in 2015, they were named the longest-married couple among those nominated in Canada in a contest run by the Catholic organization Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

For 40 years, Bill worked for Bowater Mersey Paper, and was a founding member of the Liverpool Fire Department, while Bertie became a nurse. The couple raised two sons, but lost their oldest, Michael, to a heart attack in 2010. On the occasion of their 80th wedding anniversary, Bill said his secret to a happy marriage was simple. “All you have to do is agree,” he said.

“I wouldn’t trade her for the world, I love her every minute.” Added Bertie: “All I can say is that Bill’s easy to live with and I guess I’m all right for him to live with. We look out for each other.” In 2013, she told her husband: “You’ve got to stay around. You remember that, boy. Don’t you go and leave.” Bill promised that, with Bertie by his side, he’d live forever. In 2016, Bill died at the age of 101.

 

4) The happy couple: John and Ann Betar

Their time together: 85 years

Tying the knot: Call it the case of a marriage that almost wasn’t. It all began in Bridgeport, Conn., in 1932 when Ann Shawah was a popular high-school student who dreamed of going to college and John Betar was the boy next door, a kid who loved baseball and peddled produce along coastal towns in Connecticut from his brand-new Ford Roadster.

No surprise the couple fell in love. But the country was still in the throes of the Great Depression, and Ann’s father was determined that she’d marry a man 20 years her senior. What are young lovers supposed to do? Well, they followed their hearts and ran away together, eloping in nearby Harrison, N.Y. Eight decades later, the couple, now 104 and 100 years old, has 14 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren and have watched the world change before their eyes. In the 1960s, they moved to a little beach house in Fairfield, Conn., where they still live.

Today, according to Worldwide Marriage Encounter, they are the longest-married couple in the United States. What’s more, they’re one of the oldest couples to ever dispense relationship advice online. In 2016, a few days before Valentine’s Day, the Betars took part in an online Twitter Q&A, offering their lessons in love during a session organized by the online home service marketplace, Handy.

John is a Syrian refugee, whose family escaped during the First World War. He bounced around refugee camps before arriving in America in 1921. His secret to happiness — be happy with the life you have. “Live day to day within your means,” John told the Washington Post in 2016. “Be content with what you have. Don’t spend more than you have. Respect each other.”

The newspaper USA Today asked the longtime lovebirds what they love most about each other. Said Ann: “John is a very giving man, in all ways. But… he has a stubborn mind, so you just have to go with it.” Chimed in John: “I love that woman. That’s all.” The two are living up to a vow to spend a lifetime together. When asked how he’d court his wife in 2016, John said he’d likely “Google her,” and then “text or call to ask her out.” Hopefully, he’d still pick her up in that 1932 Roadster.

 

3) The happy couple: Philipose and Sosamma Thomas

Their time together: 88 years, two days

Tying the knot: While the length of their union was never officially blessed by the folks at Guinness World Records, Wikipedia says Philipose Thomas and his wife, Sosamma, were together for 88 years and two days, making their marriage the second-longest ever recorded. Details are somewhat scarce, though a 2005 article in the online edition of The Hindu, India’s national newspaper, offered a glimpse of this history-making marriage.

According to The Hindu, this wasn’t a Hollywood-style story of love at first sight, but an arranged marriage in Kerala, India, a region “where the family patriarchs called the shots.” The records of the St. Simon’s Jacobite Syrian Church state the marriage took place on Feb. 17, 1918. “It was a typical Christian wedding where the groom wore a wore a dhothi and a jubba with a shawl on his shoulder and headgear,” The Hindu reported.

“The bride wore her white chatta, mundu and kavany. And Sosamma has been with him ever since.” When they tied the knot, Philipose was a 13-year-old Class 7 student, while his 12-year-old bride was one class his junior. “After marriage, I went to school and completed Class 9,” Philipose told the paper in 2005. The couple waited 15 years for their first child, a girl who is now a retired teacher with 11 grandchildren of her own.

In total, the couple had seven children, 15 grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren. “My grandfather died at 87, but father at 55,” Philipose, who never drank or smoked, replied when asked about his own longevity. At the time of the interview, the couple had been together for 86 years and four months. They were asked whether they every fought. Chirped Philipose: “Never.” Countered Sosamma: “A lot.” OK, yeah, that’s definitely a married couple.

 

2) The happy couple: Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher

Their time together: 86 years, 290 days

Tying the knot: You probably won’t be surprised to hear this, but divorce never crossed the minds of Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina. Which explains why the James City, N.C., couple spent more than 86 years together and, in 2008, were entered in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the oldest living married couple.

“I didn’t know it would be as long as it is now,” Zelmyra, then 103, told the website of the AARP back in 2011 about being married to the same man for so many decades. “I knew that I wouldn’t be looking for another husband.” At the age of 105, Herbert was a bit surprised by their longevity. “I didn’t know I would be married this long,” the retired Coca-Cola Bottling Co. mechanic explained.

Herbert built the family home in 1942, and the couple remained there until their final years, a union that led to five children, 10 grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and four great-great grandchildren. They were named as the longest-married couple after their granddaughter, Iris Godette, submitted their names for Guinness recognition. “I think it is a blessing first that two people can ultimately love each other, respect each other and still want to be each other’s friends,” Godette said in 2011.

The couple’s marathon marriage made headlines around the world and earned them a commendation from then-U.S. president Barack Obama. In 2010, they dished about love on Twitter. Asked her advice to someone seeking Mr. Right, Zelmyra tweeted: “Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith — when you meet him, you’ll know.” Herbert died in 2011 and Zelmyra passed two years later. But the love, as they say, lives on.

 

1) The happy couple: Karam and Kartari Chand

Their time together: 90 years, 291 days

Tying the knot: Think about the numbers for a moment: 90 years, 291 days is a long time for a building to last. Or a country. Or a tree. But a marriage? Yikes! Well, that is precisely how long the record-setting union between Karam and Kartari Chand of the United Kingdom held together in peace and harmony.

We won’t keep you in suspense — sadly, this marathon marriage ended last year when Karam Chand passed away of natural causes — just six weeks short of celebrating his 111th birthday. In 2015, the couple became international celebs following their 90th anniversary, which cemented their marriage as the longest on record. On Dec. 11, 1925, the couple were married in a Sikh ceremony in India while the country was still under British rule. In 1965, according to metro.co.uk, they moved to Bradford, West Yorkshire, where Karam replaced his hard work as a farmer with equally hard work in the wool mills.

The impressive family tree includes eight children, 27 grandchildren and 23 great-grandchildren. The secret to his long life and marriage? Some time before his death, Karam explained: “Eat and drink what you want but in moderation. I have never held back from enjoying my life.” Mind you, he had recently given up his one cigarette a day, though he still enjoyed the odd shot of whisky.

“We have always eaten good, wholesome food, there’s nothing artificial in our diet but things like butter, milk and fresh yogurt are what we like…We know that being married for 86 years is a blessing, but equally we will be ready to go when it’s time…” The family has cited the couple’s hard-working lives, a lifetime of clean food and their inter-generational living arrangements for their longevity. Their youngest son, Paul, was devastated at the death of his father.

“With the grace of God, he went peacefully.” He said his mom, Kartari, was finding it difficult to cope with losing such a longtime partner, but would be all right. Apparently the couple never argued. Not once. Which is definitely a record in anyone’s books, Mr. Guinness.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca