August 16, 2017


16° C, A few clouds

Full Forecast


Advertise With Us

Unexpected cool passion in the wake of hot flashes

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/10/2013 (1406 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm going crazy with perimenopausal hot flashes. I'm an office worker and I run into the snack room and open the fridge freezer and stick my head in. Sometimes I just want to take off all my clothes at my desk. Recently another single woman who's going through the same thing met up with me in the snack room at the same time and we both had our heads in the cool freezer air together. We ended up laughing so hard we suddenly kissed each other on the mouth. You heard me. We were both shocked. Was it a moment of human relief or has this been coming? We're not best friends at work, but she is very attractive. Is this what happens to some women in menopause? Do some cross over? -- Shocked, Westwood

Dear Shocked: This is not a usual reaction, but anything can happen in life. We are on a continuum of sexuality and can shift up and down with life experiences. At this point, if you don't feel the urge to make another move, all you should do is wait and see what happens. Maybe it was a one time thing -- a moment -- or maybe it is part of something more. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just wait and see.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: OK, let's just say it right out, people: Married sex is crummy compared with a living-apart romance or sex during an affair. In married sex, you take your clothes off, jump into bed, turn to each other without so much as a how-do-you-do and then get it over with so you can get some sleep. How can married people change this once they're in the rut? I love my wife (we're both in our late 40s) but it's so boring in bed. Should I just have a discreet affair? I'm too young to die sexually and there is an accountant at work who seems interested. -- Unhappy Husband and Father, St. Boniface

Dear Unhappy Husband: The worst move you can make is to try to cut someone out of the group of attractive women at your workplace as your "secret" paramour. Good luck. You could at least ask your wife what she thinks the two of you might try to challenge the boredom you both feel. That would be the smartest thing to do. Striking off into the night looking for a bar and a lonely woman is another common (but dumb) idea. At least talk to your wife. Who knows? She may have some unfulfilled fantasies or ideas of her own. She may even want an open marriage experiment, then you can both have an affair openly. But the old office temptation? It's a bit like drinking poison, fella.


Send questions c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6

Read more by Miss Lonelyhearts.


Advertise With Us

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective January 2015.

Photo Store

Scroll down to load more