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This article was published 1/4/2019 (661 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
For years, Lori Alcorn thought that her singular purpose in life was to someday become a mother.
"Everything I had in life kind of was seen through that lens," Alcorn, a 41-year-old East Kildonan resident, said. "When that starts to not happen, things can turn into a tailspin and everything is thrown into question, if that’s how you see your life."
Alcorn is not alone. According to the Government of Canada, approximately one in six couples experience infertility. And while Alcorn and her husband have yet to throw in the towel, she said that several years ago she had "an epiphany" that her life could have many purposes beyond (or, including) motherhood. She went back to school and got a degree in counselling, with the intention of helping others navigate their own journey through infertility.
"There’s still a lot of stigma attached to infertility," Alcorn said. "There are very little supports. Those who I could find to talk to had already come through the other side and made their decision, whether that was to adopt or to remain child free or doing IVF (in-vitro fertilization). I couldn’t find anyone in the middle of it all. I told myself that one day, I’d be that person."
Alcorn graduated with her degree in June, and threw herself into writing a book about her experience. The result is The Pregnant Pause: Finding Positivity When All The Results Are Negative.
"It’s been a 13-year journey," the first-time author said. "I always wanted to be an author, and this book kind of took on a life of its own."
In publishing The Pregnant Pause, Alcorn hopes to reach an audience in Canada that she feels is under-represented.
"Everybody says ‘find your tribe,’" she said. "Those who have decided to adopt have their tribe, those who are going for IVF, they have their tribe. But we’ve all experienced the same heartbreak, we’ve all gone through that.
"I also want to reach those people who haven’t decided which way to go yet, because I still don’t know myself," she added. "I hope they’ll know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel."
Alcorn also hopes that the book, which will available for pre-order to coincide with Canadian Infertility Awareness Week at the end of April, will help educate those who haven’t had to struggle with fertility be more compassionate with those who have.
"I hope it will raise the level of sensitivity in people who don’t necessarily experience it themselves, so they can see the people in their lives who may be struggling with it," she explained.
A certified life coach with five years experience, Alcorn is also hoping to focus her practice on those who are undergoing their own journey with fertility.
"It’s kind of a hard place to break into, because no one wants to talk about it," she said. "I’d like to establish myself as someone who’s been through it, who can be trusted."
The Pregnant Pause will be officially launched on May 10 at McNally Robinson, 1120 Grant Ave. For more information, or to pre-order the book, visit www.thepregnantpausecoach.com/book
The Herald community journalist
Sheldon Birnie is the reporter/photographer for The Herald. The author of Missing Like Teeth: An Oral History of Winnipeg Underground Rock (1990-2001), his writing has appeared in journals and online platforms across Canada, the U.S. and the U.K. A husband and father of two young children, Sheldon enjoys playing guitar and rec hockey when he can find the time. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org Call him at 204-697-7112