‘It’s a pain that you just have to live with’

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This article was published 09/11/2011 (5162 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

It’s the thump-thump of his son’s footsteps traipsing up the front stoop on a Friday afternoon that Jim Seggie misses the most.

Coming home to St. James from CFB Shilo was a weekly ritual for Cpl. Mike Seggie — a chance to do his laundry, catch up with family and hang out with childhood friends.

But it’s been three years since Seggie and his wife Shirley have heard those footsteps.

Mike, who served in the Second Battalion of Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry, was killed in action after being ambushed by Taliban insurgents in the volatile Zhari district outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan.

It was Sept. 3, 2008, the last patrol in Mike’s first tour of duty. He was 21.

“When the sun is at a certain angle, there’s a certain brightness in the air, and all I want to see or want to hear (from is Mike),” said Seggie, a master warrant officer stationed at Minto Armoury.

“You’d hear him before you’d see him, and the door would open and he’d walk in, drop his laundry and go ‘Hey.’

“That’s one of the hardest things. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”

As Remembrance Day approaches, Seggie and his wife are preparing to make yet another painful trek to Mike’s grave in Meadow Lea Cemetery, northwest of Winnipeg.

Theirs is a somber journey, comforted in some part by the dozens of friends and family who make the trek with them.

“I just don’t want people to forget him. When they come it’s good,” said Shirley Seggie, dabbing away tears at the corner of her eyes.

Mike, along with two others who were killed in the attack, became the 94th, 95th and 96th casualties in Canada’s mission in Afghanistan, which began in 2002. To date, 158 Canadian soldiers have died in the war.

It’s a grieving process impossible to translate into words, Seggie said.

“Not only are you hurting, your wife is hurting. The people you have to tell are going to be hurting, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to make it better,” he said. “It’s such a helpless, lonely feeling.”

“It’s a pain that you just have to live with. Some days are harder than others and we think of him every day,” Shirley added.

The two have sought solace renovating Mike’s childhood room, mounting photos, medals and his military uniform on the walls. Pictures of Mike sit in Seggie’s office at work and occupy nearly every room in their house. They still leave messages on his Facebook page.

But it’s the regular visits from Mike’s childhood friends that keep them connected to him, they say.

“Anytime we have his birthday, they come over. Those kind of occasions and Remembrance Day, of course they’re always there,” Shirley said.

“I think they keep coming over because of their friendship and to support us. They still go in my fridge and freezer and help themselves. They make themselves at home, which is good.

“It helps, but it’s also sad,” she said.

“You know Mike should be there with them, going out and having fun, and he’s not,” Seggie added.

In the meantime, they look forward to the future, and crafting the pieces of Mike’s life together to share with others.

In 2010, after a much-publicized controversy, the province named a group of lakes after Mike and his comrades.

Located 120 kilometres southeast of Thompson, in the swamp and pine of northern Manitoba country, the Seggie Lake shoreline traces the profile of a man’s face. It’s nestled near three lakes named after Victoria Cross winners, Seggie said.

 

In July, they flew over the remote lake for the first time.
“We flew over it a few times. It was emotional,” Seggie said.

Seggie said he and other family members would like to one day drop down to the lake, which is not accessible by road, to spend a weekend camping. The family plans to mount a flag and monument to officially mark the lake.

“If anybody does explore in years to come and they land on that little island, they’ll come across it,” Seggie said.

“They’ll dust it off and say ‘I wonder why this is here?’ and be able to read Mike’s story.”

— with file from Laura Kunzelman

matt.preprost@canstarnews.com