Do you model the correct behaviour?

By: Phyllis Reid-Jarvis Posted: 10:47 AM CST Tuesday, Feb. 16, 2016

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/02/2016 (3621 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I was at a doctor’s office recently when I noticed behaviour from one of the doctors that got me thinking about how well we model the behaviour we ask of others.

When I showed up at the office I was met by big sign requesting that people remove their shoes before proceeding past the reception desk.

Now, something you might not know about me is I am extremely germaphobic. You will not catch me walking around any public facility in bare feet or even in just my socks. Needless to say, when I saw the sign I immediately thought of pretending I didn’t see it. But then I thought about our children and how I must model the very same behaviours I ask of them — so I relented and took off my boots.

As she walked past me and other patients waiting in their socks, I looked at her then down at her dirty outdoor shoes, back up at her face and back down to her shoes.

She didn’t bat an eyelid and walked right past us all. I was aghast!

I looked over at the man closest to me and he said, “I guess it’s only certain people who should take off their shoes.”

I responded, “Animal Farm — we’re all equal but some people are more important than others.”

Then we laughed the kind of laugh that said, “Next time, I am not taking off my shoes.”

As a coach I work with leaders within corporations and I challenge them that they must model the way they behave in the very same ways they are asking their teams to behave.

It’s no different for us as parents. If we tell our children to be fit and active yet they see us sitting around on our laurels, or we tell them smoking is bad for you as we suck back on a cigarette — we are not modelling the way we should be. Modelling behaviour is simple but it can be hard especially when we don’t lead with the values we want others to convey.

If the doctors at that clinic truly valued their patients they would model the way the way they wanted their patients to behave. If they truly valued keeping their waiting room clean, they would model the way.

So I did say something to the receptionist and to the doctor I saw.

I also got slip-on covers for my socks from the receptionist. Next time, I will definitely remove my boots willingly.

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis is a director and executive coach at Ultimate Potentials. Contact her at living@ultimatepotentials.com

I was at a doctor’s office recently when I noticed behaviour from one of the doctors that got me thinking about how well we model the behaviour we ask of others.

When I showed up at the office I was met by big sign requesting that people remove their shoes before proceeding past the reception desk. Now, something you might not know about me is I am extremely germaphobic. You will not catch me walking around any public facility in bare feet or even in just my socks. Needless to say, when I saw the sign I immediately thought of pretending I didn’t see it. But then I thought about our children and how I must model the very same behaviours I ask of them — so I relented and took off my boots.

Kameel4u | Dreamstime.com
A sign in a doctor’s office asking patients to remove their shoes sparked a discussion of model behaviour, especially after a doctor walked right past it without removing her outdoor footwear. — Kameel4u | Dreamstime.com A sign in a doctor’s office asking patients to remove their shoes sparked a discussion of model behaviour, especially after a doctor walked right past it without removing her outdoor footwear.

As I stood in my socks at reception —thinking that as soon as I got home I would throw my socks in the laundry — in walked one of the doctors from outside, right past the sign, in her outdoor shoes.As she walked past me and other patients waiting in their socks, I looked at her then down at her dirty outdoor shoes, back up at her face and back down to her shoes.She didn’t bat an eyelid and walked right past us all. I was aghast! I looked over at the man closest to me and he said,

“I guess it’s only certain people who should take off their shoes.”I responded, “Animal Farm — we’re all equal but some people are more important than others.”

Then we laughed the kind of laugh that said, “Next time, I am not taking off my shoes.” As a coach I work with leaders within corporations and I challenge them that they must model the way they behave in the very same ways they are asking their teams to behave. It’s no different for us as parents. If we tell our children to be fit and active yet they see us sitting around on our laurels, or we tell them smoking is bad for you as we suck back on a cigarette — we are not modelling the way we should be.

Modelling behaviour is simple but it can be hard especially when we don’t lead with the values we want others to convey. If the doctors at that clinic truly valued their patients they would model the way the way they wanted their patients to behave. If they truly valued keeping their waiting room clean, they would model the way. So I did say something to the receptionist and to the doctor I saw. I also got slip-on covers for my socks from the receptionist. Next time, I will definitely remove my boots willingly.

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis is a director and executive coach at Ultimate Potentials. Contact her at living@ultimatepotentials.com

Report Error Submit a Tip

January 15, 2026

Do you model the correct behaviour?

Columns