A DIY job too far?

East Kildonan

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/12/2024 (525 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

The cracks in the parging (the cement sheath on my exterior house wall) had been present since I bought the house about a quarter-century ago, and they have only gotten worse.

No time like the present to get things done, I always say!

What really concerned me were the old, wooden basement window frames into which installers, in some unknown decade, had placed newer aluminum windows. The wood had deteriorated badly, and it was scary to see the length of a kitchen utensil disappear into and past the wood as I poked and prodded.

Researching many sources to fix the cracks and crumbles, I was finally encouraged by a YouTuber who creepily motioned his fingers like a burrowing animal as he explained the dire consequences of further neglect.

His words nailed it: “Just throw some mortar at it.”

Sounded good to me.

It was early October but good weather was upcoming, and I estimated all would be complete in three days.

The crack in the parging led downward and upon digging there I discovered the fissure took a sharp horizontal turn and travelled a long, long way along the house. Vines had grown in wherever they could and had to be cut and pulled.

None of this was fun at all – although Penelope the standard poodle disagreed. After digging down, I laid a base of gravel and then pushed stainless steel batting into any fissures (using the aforementioned kitchen utensil, too). I sealed the whole thing with quick drying cement. Other walls required fixing, too.

Remember my three-day estimate?

By day 41 things seemed complete enough for the upcoming winter. Here are some highlights from those days – days I will never get back:

• Hand-mixing powder cement in a bucket. The resultant muscle pain does decrease as arm strength increases (the shoulder joint, however, is taking a while);

• Quick-dry cement means just that. Now, how to creatively reuse a bucket half-filled with rock hard cement?;

• With one of the worst head colds ever experienced, cold medication worked a miracle. And Tylenol taken on schedule kept one’s hand to the trowel (had me thinking of the hand lashed to the wheel of Bram Stoker’s famed ship, Demeter) as the weather clock ticked…

• Poodles are known to dig. Penelope helped many times, breaking the hard earth with her oversized, clawed feet. She also delighted in shooting mud back over the neatly laid wet concrete. (This was the fun mentioned earlier.)

I would have curled into a ball and cried until a kindly first responder dragged me away, had it not been for the pleasant words of my neighbours. I am truly blessed; thank you, dear neighbours, so much.