Compassion: putting action into empathy

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/03/2016 (3672 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Lately I have developed an interest in consciously being more compassionate — trying to do and say things that truly alleviate suffering for others.  

Don’t get me wrong; I have been told I am a pretty compassionate person but I  feel there is room for growth.

What triggered this hunger to be more compassionate is my work with organizations. I found I kept challenging managers to show more compassion to their employees and to show more of their ‘true selves’ at work.

What seems to be a recurring source of angst for many leaders and employees in general is their own lack of compassion at work. This lack of compassion causes disengagement and other negative feelings.   

When I ask what they value most, people light up and speak favourably about their families. I hear the level of compassion and love in their voices when they share specific stories about a child, a spouse, a pet or a parent.

Many of these same people do almost a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde switch when they talk about their workplace families. I chalk this up to the notion that work is all about work. When people are at home it’s a different story; they can lower their guard and be compassionate and caring.

This made me do a double-take on my own attitude and behaviours when at work and at home. It turns out I, too, had been subscribing to this separation notion; hence my quest to be more compassionate both at home and work.

So how do you demonstrate compassion at work?

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind:

1. Compassion is empathy put in action. Not only do you empathize by showing you understand what someone must be feeling but you show compassion by doing something to help alleviate that situation. At home you would take a spouse or child out for a treat. At work you could buy the team lunch after finishing a gruelling project.

2. Use compassion to soften your words. Tone can make or break trust in relationships. Your child or spouse opens up and speaks more freely because of the soft, caring tone to your words. At work an unhappy or confused employee will also open up with this same approach.

3. Compassion builds engagement. The act of putting empathy into action sends a powerful message to both work and personal families. This builds engagement which is key for successful families.

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis is a director and executive coach at Ultimate Potentials. Contact her at living@ultimatepotentials.com