What’s the glue that binds your family?

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/12/2016 (3286 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I was recently out of town at a baby dedication service and after observing the joy on the faces of all the family members involved, I began to think about how children can pull families together or, in some cases, apart.  

I certainly observed a case of children pulling families together — and it was beautiful.  

I remember years ago, before I was a mother, how excited I was to learn about the impending arrival of my soon-to-be nieces or nephews. I wasn’t the only one excited — my parents and siblings also shared in the anticipated arrival of brand new additions to our family.

Over the years I have witnessed, directly and indirectly, members  of families from all walks of life not speaking to each other for some reason that is so important no one can tell you clearly what it is.  
I have seen parents stop speaking to their adult children and vice versa. I have seen adult children boycott a wedding ceremony, a graduation or some other milestone event and I am sure we are all familiar with family dinners and the dramas they can bring.

Yet the arrival of a child within the fold of these very same families does something wonderful and powerful to all involved. I remember the arrival of one of my nieces years ago — the excitement was too much to contain to just visiting on the weekends. I went overboard and was pretty much at my sibling’s home almost daily. I was soon given strict visiting guidelines by the new parents and I was devastated. Looking back, I completely understand their need for space to enjoy their new baby.

Which brings me back to the baby dedication service. This was a classic case of a parent and adult child estranged over choices made. The family spent two or more years not talking to each other. But then I saw both the parents and their adult child at the baby dedication, oohing and awing over the new child.

The parents had that silly grin you see on the faces of parents who are so proud of their children they can’t do anything but grin ear to ear.

It was beautiful to see. The baby had brought the family together.

As we enter the holiday season, no matter your faith, the time calls for gatherings.

Whether you feel wronged or not, this is a great time to find glue strong enough to bind you to your family.

What’s your glue?

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis is a director and executive coach at Ultimate Potentials. Contact her at living@ultimatepotentials.com