Keep yexpectations realistic

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/06/2025 (323 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Money Lady Readers,

If you read my columns regularly, you know I am a big advocate of planning. I have always believed that without a life plan and directional purpose it’s hard to personally grow and prosper.

The catchphrase used by many financial advisers is: “If you don’t plan to succeed, you plan to fail.”

Planning helps you push yourself out of your comfort zone to accomplish more, forcing you to try harder and believe that you are worth success. We all know this to be true, but today I want to suggest that we should all lower our expectations on life, just a little, because\ your happiness in life is irrevocably tied to your expectations.

Let’s look at your current income. Income is a key predictor of life satisfaction and mental health, regardless of the actual amount you earn, and, in our society, success is expected of you. If you were to get a raise today, but it is less than you expected or believe you’re worth, you will be less happy than you should be. If you had more modest expectations, you would likely be happy with the raise.

Now before you get all tied up in the fact that I’m telling you to lower your outlook on life, let me say that I most certainly am not. I simply want you to avoid a “false-hope syndrome” whereby you stick to unrealistic expectations way past the point at which you should. False hope is not the same as optimism. Optimism allows us to expect the best while having a contingency plan for the worst. False hope on the other hand, means we always expect the very best and generally ignore the worst when it occurs.

Put another way, when facing an uncertain future, the rose-coloured glasses of optimism serve us just fine, if we take them off from time to time for a dose of reality. I believe self-improvement is always important, but it needs to be conducive to your happiness.

Having more modest expectations of your relationships will also reduce your stress and overall unhappiness. Believing that a co-worker, partner or child should provide you with a higher standard of care, interest, love or support only guarantees your disappointment. People will never live up to your expectations. When we let our expectations define our experience, we’re far more likely to be disappointed, unhappy, and resentful. Usually, the actual situation is not as bad as we think it is, it’s just different from our expectations.

Positive or negative expectations will always be harmful to your future happiness. When your expectations are too high, you will most likely always experience disappointment when things don’t work. But if take a more modest outlookt, you will be more likely to experience exactly what you expect and be content and happier with the outcome.