You can’t start a story in the middle

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/02/2017 (3300 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A while back my family and I were at an event at which the topics of historical contribution and legacy were being discussed.

It was pretty heavy stuff. Needless to say, a topic of this nature is bound to have people on all sides of the issue.

There was one woman who took a position that really veered away from the group as a whole — one which presented the legacy and contributions of the group in a less than desirable light. But she did so by focusing on the most recent events in the group’s life as opposed to looking at the group’s long history as a whole.  

On the ride home we discussed what we’d witnessed, as we were all struck by this person’s perspective.

“You can’t start a story in the middle’,” our younger son calmly said.

We were all silenced by this — thinking about the strength of this statement and how it would have been a powerful, perspective-shifting strategy at the event.

My son was absolutely right.  When we make extrapolations or assumptions about groups or individuals based on limited facts, we are not only coming in at the middle or near the end of their stories, for all we know we could be at the beginning of their stories.  

Addressing issues based on the obvious isn’t always in our best interest. Seeing isn’t always believing.  

For example, if you have ever caught yourself asking  a family member why he or she did or didn’t do something —but then veer off into why they should or shouldn’t have done whatever, without waiting to hear the full story — then you, too, are guilty of starting the story in the middle.  

Starting in the middle — or at the end for that matter — can lead to making assumptions and drawing conclusions from incomplete information. I see the fallout of this all too often in families and organizations.

Get in the habit of asking questions using who, what, where, when, why and how — and then allow silence between each to get the full story. You’ll be amazed at how much you learn!

Phyllis Reid-Jarvis is a director and executive coach at Ultimate Potentials. Contact her at living@ultimatepotentials.com