Volunteers provide support to those suffering profound loss

Windsor Park

Charleswood

For the last decade or so, many Manitoba families that have suffered a profound loss have been supported by a host of local angels.

Manitoba Angel Dresses is a non-profit group of volunteers that provides items, including hand-sewn outfits, to grieving families dealing with the tragedy and heartbreak of losing an infant.

“We create little packages that are given to the families, which include a hat, a gown, a blanket, and a keepsake pouch, which includes a card expressing condolences,” explained Manitoba Angel Dresses co-director Diane Monkman.

“Once the packages are made, we send them to hospitals and funeral homes, and the families can choose. A nurse or funeral director will dress the infant in an outfit, which normalizes the body and gives them a sense of identity. We hope this helps the parents and family grieve the person they loved in the womb as they come to terms with their loss,” Monkman explained.

Monkman, who lives in Story Point, Man., said Manitoba Angel Dresses was established in 2014 by two women from Brandon, Man. — Val Bonhune and Janelle Wood. They initially received guidance from Saskatchewan resident Becky Panter, who helped bring the movement to Canada.

Monkman said part of the need for the Angel Dress service is generated by stores which don’t carry items small enough.

She said Manitoba Angel Dresses — “which is supported entirely by dedicated volunteers” — is a year-round initiative, which ensures families across the province have access to the support they need whenever their loss occurs.

“Our work is continuous, and we are always in need of supplies and volunteers to help us create and deliver these meaningful gowns,” she said.

“Some volunteers connect directly with funeral homes and hospitals, while others work behind the scenes sewing and assembling the outfits. Funeral homes and hospitals are also key partners, helping ensure these precious garments reach the families who need them.”

The initiative is close to the heart of Monkman and fellow director, Susan Bruce, who lives in Charleswood.

“We have each experienced the loss of an infant, and we understand the profound grief that families face during such a heartbreaking time,” Monkman said.

She noted that, in the not too distant past, the topic of miscarriage could be taboo.

“You went home and went about your business and didn’t talk about it,” she said. “Now it’s about bringing it out of the darkness and into the light.”

“Years ago, there was often little recognition for these tiny lives, and parents were left without the support or opportunity to honour their babies. Today, hospitals have come a long way. Families are now given the time and space to be with their little ones, to say goodbye, and to create precious memories. Being part of this initiative allows us to help ensure that every family receives the compassion, dignity, and support its deserves,” she added.

Christy Bettess Schmidt and her husband, Andrew, have had five miscarriages and lost their sixth child, Daniel, who was born at 22 weeks in 2016.

“We had our first loss 14 years ago, and we tried for a very long time to have a larger family. We had our son for a few hours, and we got to meet him. The hospital gave us a beautiful hand-painted box with pictures,” said Bettess Schmidt, who lives in Windsor Park. “At the time, my mother-in-law went home and stayed up all night knitting. She knitted Daniel a blanket and a hat, so he was cremated in an outfit made by his nanny.”

Through a friend, Bettess Schmidt found out about Manitoba Angel Dresses last year, and she’s been a keen supporter of the group since. The southeast Winnipegger has donated 32 totes full of materials to the non-profit that belonged to her late mother, who was an avid sewer and quilter. At the same time, she also decided to donate her wedding dress to the cause.

“I can’t think of a better way to pass on the dress, and have it used. Although it might get better in time, the hurt of losing a child never goes away. I thought that if there’s anything I could do to help a parent that’s lost a child, I wanted to be able to help provide some sort of comfort,” Bettess Schmidt said. “What (Manitoba Angel Dresses) are doing is amazing. It can still be one of the taboo topics that society doesn’t want to talk about … so to be able to find out about these ladies was a true blessing.”

The group consists of around 50 volunteers and is active throughout the entire province, Monkman said. Any support for the cause would be appreciated and is most welcome, she added.

“There are many meaningful ways people can help. We’re always grateful for volunteers — whether it’s making phone calls, helping deliver items to hospitals, or taking a package along if you’re travelling from Winnipeg to northern communities. Every little bit makes a difference,” she said.

“We’re also looking for some key volunteers to help us launch an ambassador program. Ambassadors would set up information tables at hospitals to let staff, families, and visitors know about Manitoba Angel Dresses. It’s a wonderful way to have one-on-one conversations, share what we do, and connect with potential volunteers.”

Visit manitobaangeldresses.com for more information, or visit the group on Facebook.