Contemplating the definition of success

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/03/2015 (3892 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Everyone wants to be successful, right? But what does that mean?

Are you successful if you have a lot of money and beautiful things? What if you don’t — does that mean you are not successful?

What if you have joy and love in your life but not a lot of money — are you successful or not?
We are taught from a young age to measure our success by the opinions of other people. If a teacher likes what we did, we are successful; if she doesn’t, we have failed.

But who is really more successful in your mind — a child who flits from A to A+ with little or no effort, or one who works hard to achieve a C?

I had occasion to think about this as part of my certification exam for Life Coach School. One of the questions asked “How will you define success as a coach? How will you measure it?”

My thoughts immediately flew to helping clients spread their wings and fly, to improving their lives, to making enough money for my needs. But, as my mentor gently pointed out to me, what if the client chooses not to fly? Does that mean I have failed? Do I really want to hang my success and self-esteem on the choices of another person?

I passed the exam because I realized that the only true measure for my success as a coach is how I show up for each coaching session.

Was I truly present for my client? Did I listen carefully and pose cogent questions? Did I do the best I could at that moment?

If I did, then regardless of the client’s choices, I am a successful coach. If I did not, then it doesn’t matter if the client thinks I walk on water.

The real beauty of this definition is that it is entirely within my own control whether I succeed or not. Like the student who can choose whether or not to study, I can choose to show up for my clients every day, or not. How the clients choose to respond does not matter, in this definition.

How do you define success?

Does it depend on the choices and opinions of other people? Or is it entirely within your own control?

Let me know what you think!

Hadass Eviatar is a community correspondent for West Kildonan. Check out her blog at: http://hadasseviatar.com/blog/