Sharing the burden

This topic is not new, and I know it’s not fun, but it is one we deal with too often, and it always helps when we share. A favourite line from Spider Robinson, my favourite science fiction author, is: “Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased.” We see this when we get a new pet, and people join in on the joy. When we lose a pet, our village shoulders the pain with us.

The hardest part of these situations is making the decision that it is time. The best advice I ever got on the subject came from the incredible Dr. Pol. For those who don’t watch nature channels, The Incredible Dr. Pol is a show featuring an endearing Dutch veterinarian who practises in the American Midwest. He is very straightforward, and his love for the animals is very evident.

We had just had our first French bulldog put down, owing to severe back issues that would have left her in pain the rest of her life, and my heart (and Jackie’s) was heavy, having made that decision. She was otherwise hale and healthy but condemning her to a life of pain would have been unfair.

A few weeks later, I was at a trade show where Dr. Pol was promoting a local brand of dog food. It was quiet, so we got a chance to talk after the photo op.

I explained our recent decision and told him that the vet had given us the options but not a recommendation, leaving that decision to us. Dr. Pol agreed that we made the right decision, and that he would have recommended it had it been in his clinic. His words were: “Quality of life is more important than quantity of life, and dogs are not afraid to die. You will see them again, soon enough”.

I texted this to Jackie, to set her heart at ease (she’s a big Dr. Pol fan), and she replied “Are you sure?” So, I got him to repeat it on camera and sent it to her. It didn’t make things all better, but it did confirm that we had done the right thing for Stitch.

We spend many years with our animal companions, most of them good, fun years, creating lots of good memories. As we near the end, we can forget those wonderful years and start only seeing the pain, the cost and the inconvenience that comes as their time approaches.

It is very important to remember the many, many years of great companionship our pets have shared with us, and to remember them in the good light of health, rather than dwelling on the pain we share at the end.

In most cases, the family will have another furry familiar still there share love with you. When there is a void, the space in the home can be filled, but the space in your heart, not so much. That’s OK. We can never replace one that has passed, but we can fill the space left behind with our next adventure. Whether it is a rescue, a foster or seeking out a great breeder for a certain type of pet, bringing in a new pet is not replacing the old, but letting the new one take the baton of caring for us.