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Greetings, folks.
Happy to report I survived my stand-up debut Wednesday night at the Gas Station Arts Centre, where I was invited to take part in Laughing With The Stars as part of the Winnipeg Comedy Festival.
No tomatoes were thrown, even though a cheeky relative sent me a photo earlier in the day of a grocery store display he was eyeing.
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“Not enough rotten ones here for tonight,” he texted.
No worries. I got him back later when I worked him into my act, specifically his unique drive-thru ordering style. His voice starts normal and somehow climbs an octave with every word.
So no, I didn’t bomb. At least I don’t think I did. I actually had a blast.
Instead of firing off one-liners, I tried to keep it real by sharing stories and observations from my life.(Supplied)
There were definitely some nerves, especially when I arrived at 6:30 p.m. for the 7:30 show and learned I’d be closing as the last of 10 performers, following five seasoned Winnipeg comics and four other “celebrity” amateurs.
Saving the best for last? Or just… last and least?
Anyone who’s worked with me won’t be surprised to learn I went a little long. We were supposed to keep it to five minutes. I clocked in somewhere around 12.
Whoops.
Thankfully, no hook yanked me off stage, no band played me out and no gong sounded. There were plenty of laughs, no doubt helped by a strong showing from family and friends.
Instead of firing off one-liners, I tried to keep it real by sharing stories and observations from my life.
There was the double eye-patch era of my childhood, thanks to two separate mishaps. One involved flying over my bike’s handlebars during a race through a local park. The other involved somehow cutting my eyeball while delivering newspapers for Free Press in what was my first job.
Then there was the “Wheelies Incident,” where I lost my other front tooth following a face-plant at the roller rink during a school outing. And the time I crashed through a glass table at a family gathering, leaving a permanent scar on my right leg.
More recently, there was Piper, our sweet rescue dog, who accidentally head-butted me while getting her nails clipped. The result was tissues stuffed up my nose, blood all over my shirt and a pet store full of horrified onlookers.
“I guess that’s why they call them boxers,” I said. “I just went 12 rounds with her.”
I also sprinkled in a few tales from my time on the police beat, at the Law Courts and, more recently, covering the Winnipeg Jets.
A big shout-out to everyone involved. The five pros, Jared Story, Kristen Einarson, Emmanuel Lomuro, Joel Brandt and Lara Rae, showed just how deep Winnipeg’s comedy scene is.
The other amateurs, Derek Taylor (CJOB), Doug Darling (Tripwire Media), Jim Agapito (CBC) and Sav Jonsa (APTN), all brought it as well.
From left: Jim Agapito, Big Daddy Tazz, Derek Taylor, me, Doug Darling and Sav Jonsa at Laughing With The Stars, part of the Winnipeg Comedy Festival.(Supplied)
Special thanks to Big Daddy Tazz for hosting, and to Dean Jenkinson, artistic director of the festival, for putting it all together.
It was a great reminder that laughter really is the best medicine.
Life moves fast. One night you’re on stage. The next, you’re in a junior hockey rink.
As you’re reading this, I’m on my way to Virden to cover the Manitoba Junior Hockey League final, where the Niverville Nighthawks will try to complete a four-game sweep of the hometown Oil Capitals. Look for my story online tonight and in Friday’s print edition of the Free Press.
Then it’s a late drive home so I can be at Canada Life Centre for a must-win game Friday night for the Manitoba Moose, who dropped Game 1 of their best-of-three play-in series 4-1 to the Milwaukee Admirals.
Can they stave off elimination and force a winner-take-all Game 3 on Sunday? Stay tuned.
Finally, on the Jets front, colleague Ken Wiebe and I are working on our next monthly mailbag, set to drop next week.
I’m guessing you’ve got questions, especially after everything that came out of exit interviews with players — cough, Connor Hellebuyck, cough — along with coach Scott Arniel and GM Kevin Cheveldayoff.
Send them our way. Just hit reply to this email and we’ll tackle as many as we can.
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