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It’s National Newspaper Week, an annual reality check on an industry that is both imperative and imperiled.
This year’s theme invites Canadians to “keep it real” by celebrating the real people that produce real news in the country’s newspapers.
I’m fine with that sentiment, but I wonder if the state of our industry is such that we need a different prescription. Perhaps one used by the pharmaceutical industry…?
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What if newspapers began a campaign that showed a group of people gathered in a coffee shop, waiting for their jolt of joe. One of them seems to be more confident than most, the one the others turn to for knowledge and insight.
The actors are drawn to this font of information, eager to hear more about how someone could be so well-informed. The answer is simple: “I take the Free Press.”
When those inquiring minds ask about the Free Press, the whir and roar of the barista’s coffee grinder drowns out the explanation. The commercial ends with a call to action to ask your doctor about the Free Press.
It’s hard to be inspired by the annoying reminder-style ads that conform to Canadian law by mentioning the drug but not its use. But let’s not overlook the fact that Rybelsus, Ozempic and others in big pharma rake in big profits by telling Canadians to simply ask their doctor.
If you were to ask your doctor about the Free Press, they could mention the infinite benefits as the newspaper exercises your mind and expands your horizons while it engages and entertains.
They’d note there are no side effects from consuming all that the Free Press offers. You can take it in any dose you prefer, with or without food (but coffee is a suggested pairing).
From a mental health standpoint, there are clear benefits to cutting back on social media in order to spend more time with the Free Press. There’s even the chance your doctor would promote off-label uses such as papier-mâché, fire-starter and window scrubbing.
If you’ve made it this far into tonight’s missive, I recognize you probably don’t need to ask your doctor about the Free Press. Thanks for reading and thanks for helping us to “keep it real.”
And since this newsletter lands in your inbox in the lead-up to Thanksgiving, have a great long weekend. As always, I am so grateful for your support of our journalism.
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