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Les Whiz-erables
(with apologies to Victor Hugo)

Nostalgia is one heck of a drug.

There are things from our past we think about fondly. Maybe they recall simpler or happier times from our formative years: watching Bugs Bunny cartoons on Saturday mornings as a kid in the ‘80s while scarfing down a bowl of Honeycomb cereal, for example, or basking in the sun at the man-made Kinsmen Lake in Stonewall Quarry Park while scarfing down the best darn Pizza Pop I’ve ever had in my life.

Oh, and premium, fancy desserts be damned — give me one of those small, single-serve plastic cups with the vanilla ice cream and the wooden stick/spoon thing. Good times.

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Well, about a month ago, out of nowhere, I had a random craving for another throwback snack — Cheez Whiz.

You can read all about the history of Kraft’s “cheese spread” on the Cheez Whiz Wikipedia page (My favourite fact: one of the guys who created the stuff in the 1950s tasted it in 2001 and declared it tasted “like axle grease” — I mean, how do you know what that tastes like?)

About a month ago, a jar of the orange spread ended up in my grocery basket. The sticker shock alone should have deterred me; the regular price of a 450-gram jar of the stuff now costs upwards of $9. Yikes.

It had been about 30 years since Cheez Whiz had graced my palate. And, well, having tried it in a few configurations, allow me to save you $9 worth of your own “culinary” experiments…

Hors d’oeuvres, anyone? (Ben Sigurdson / Free Press)

Hors d’oeuvres, anyone? (Ben Sigurdson / Free Press)

First off, the stuff tastes less cheesy and far saltier than I remember. Two tablespoons of Cheez Whiz brings 410 mg of sodium (or 18 per cent of your recommended daily intake). That made the choice to smear it on an already-salty Triscuit cracker a poor one.

My next move was to try it on a few different veggies, which offered mixed results — only on celery (the classic Cheez Whiz delivery mechanism) did the stuff taste remotely decent.

Ritz crackers probably proved the best combo — not surprising, I guess, given that you can buy packs of Ritz “snackwiches” pre-loaded with some sort of cheese/cheese-adjacent spread.

My final Cheez Whiz experiment: I remembered eating (and enjoying) hot dogs with Cheez Whiz slathered on the bun as a kid, so earlier this week, after barbecuing some regular and veggie dogs, I applied a very modest amount to my hot dog bun in an attempt to recapture that nostalgic flavour.

The verdict: this throwback combo didn’t do much flavour-wise, and actually proved pretty texturally troubling.

So, Dish readers, what are some of your own nostalgic cravings and, when revisited, did they hold up?

(I’m also taking suggestions on what to do with a 90 per cent full jar of Cheez Whiz, other than the obvious binning it.)

 

- Ben Sigurdson, literary editor and drinks writer

 

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Tasty tidbits

🍽️ The Fort Garry Hotel’s Oval Room Brasserie is one of the Top 50 hotel restaurants in Canada, according to a recent survey by OpenTable and Kayak.

And the hotel’s Vida Cucina Italia restaurant has also been honoured with a Best of Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator magazine, only the second Winnipeg restaurant to achieve that level of award.

The interior of the Vida Cucina Italia restaurant at the Fort Garry Hotel. (Mikaela MacKenzie / Free Press files)

The interior of the Vida Cucina Italia restaurant at the Fort Garry Hotel. (Mikaela MacKenzie / Free Press files)

The other restaurant is 529 Wellington, whose wine program was spearheaded for around 20 years by sommelier Christopher Sprague before he moved over to — you guessed it — the Fort Garry Hotel.

The other local winner was The Blue Marble in the Grand Winnipeg Airport Hotel, which received the Award of Excellence.

🍝 Food options at The Forks Market continue to evolve, with a new Italian eatery set to take the spot formerly occupied by Passero. Colleen is the project of Hayden Fellner and Tristan Schneider, and is slated to open this fall.

And Sharecuterie recently announced via social media that a second location is in the works, also at The Forks Market — opening date TBA.

Recommended fare

Ben: I was out in Oakbank last weekend, and stopped by Cedar & Main for a quick bite. It’s a takeout stand located at 576 Main St. (at the corner of Cedar Avenue, hence the name) that does burgers, hot dogs, fries, ice cream and the like.

I test drove the fat boy, which was quite tasty (and, surprisingly, not too messy) alongside the sweet potato waffle fries with “house sauce” — some sort of chipotle-ish mayo. Two non-chili-laden thumbs up!

Eva: I’m currently in Scotland sipping whisky and sampling haggis. Come back for some highland food and drink recommendations in the next issue of Dish!

Homemade

Our latest Homemade Cooking School class is live! It’s an overview on stocks and sauces (as well as a tutorial on mayonnaise) with chef and Red River College Polytech instructor Mandy Wingert.

Also: We’ve got a snazzy new Homemade landing page, where you can submit recipes and read all of the Free Press’s home-cooking content.

Chef Mandy Wingert whips up homemade mayonnaise/ (Mikaela MacKenzie / Free Press)

Chef Mandy Wingert whips up homemade mayonnaise/ (Mikaela MacKenzie / Free Press)

 
 

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