From your lips to Nia’s ears Actor/writer Vardalos offers readers a little sugar By: Nia Vardalos Posted: 5:22 PM CDT Friday, Apr. 10, 2026

In honour of the local debut of Tiny Beautiful Things — her stage adaptation of the popular Dear Sugar advice column — Winnipeg actress/writer Nia Vardalos agreed to take on the role of agony aunt for readers of the Free Press Applause newsletter.

Below, the My Big Fat Greek Wedding star tackles some tough questions in the empathetic style of Wild author Cheryl Strayed, who collected her originally anonymous columns in the 2012 book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar.

Prairie Theatre Exchange presents Tiny Beautiful Things, directed by Ann Hodges and starring Laura Olafson as Sugar, to April 19.

 

Dear Nia,

I am in trouble. I have had a crush on a woman at work the entire time I have been at my current job (seven years), but after a bit of an office shakeup, this woman is now my supervisor.

I have always been attracted to her and we get along well, but now that I have to deal with her every day, it is becoming a problem for me. She is so attractive and smart and funny, I can’t stop thinking about her. It drives me nuts.

It was way easier to deal with my feelings when I only saw her in passing a few times a week.

I know she is married and has a couple of kids, but I have no idea if she is happily married or what her home life is like. I would never want to break up someone’s marriage, but I wouldn’t mind if it ended naturally. I have a girlfriend, but I wouldn’t call it super serious, and if my boss were single, I would totally want to go out with her instead.

How can I deal with my feelings?

— In Trouble, Downtown

Dear In Trouble,

I admire your candor and my only goal is to help you see that pursuing your crush is a dead end of deep sadness.

There are so many ways to love someone and build a relationship. The concept of love is built on the foundation of trust, which will not apply if you start a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship. Ah, that’s right, you have a relationship, too. Two people who love someone else start things off with a shaky foundation. We need love to be as strong as the oak trees in Assiniboine Forest. They grow steady and strong because of their foundation of rich soil, and from that they reach toward the sunlight.

You don’t want a sad and dark relationship. You just want hers to end and yours to end. You can only control one of those things. You can’t end your crush’s relationship, but you can end yours.

If your feelings for your current girlfriend are not feeling to you like it’s forever, letting her go now is humane and kind, which I think you are because you have stated that you would never want to break up someone’s marriage. That makes you cool in my books.

I think you’re a good person. Strong and true and reaching for the light.

Sincerely yours,

Nia

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Dear Nia,

I have an issue. I am the only child-free adult in my circle of married friends. All of them have children under the age of seven. Because I don’t mind being around kids, I somehow have become the go-to babysitter when the parents want to have a date night. I didn’t mind much because the kids are cute and they get to learn new vocabulary from me.

But now, I’m starting to mind because my social battery needs to recharge more frequently without the presence of anyone. Unfortunately, my friends have noticed I’m saying no to babysitting duties more often and seem a little resentful. I’ve tried to explain my point of view without getting annoyed at them. I don’t think they’re getting it.

Short of dropping my friends, becoming a hermit and finding a new circle of child-free friends, do you have any suggestions on how to get them to see where I’m coming from?

— Child-Free but not a Free Child-Minding Service

Dear Child-Free,

No, no, absolutely no. Your friends asking you for this favour is not fair to you. You have become the Convenient Friend. Real friendship is not transactional.

Asking a friend to babysit once is OK, asking again is a solid no.

I am not sure if you are looking for a partner, but I wonder if those friends have ever set you up with a friend, thought of someone they know who they think might be right for you, or even returned the favour and perhaps housesat for you while you travelled to visit your aging aunt?

If the answer is no, it’s because they don’t want your situation to change, they need you to remain “convenient” for them.

You need your social battery charged for random encounters at the coffee shop that might lead to a relationship (it happens — I write movies about this!), or perhaps to adopt a dog, or to travel and build houses in a new country. My point is, you helping them with their lives is stopping you from fully living yours.

Don’t be convenient to anyone except yourself. You’re the priority. Real friends will see that you deserve a full life of your own.

New friends can be found in biking clubs, cooking classes, pottery classes, travel clubs and volunteer centres.

Making yourself the priority of your life isn’t selfish. It’s self-loving.

Lovingly yours,

Nia

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Dear Nia,

I got divorced last year at the age of 46. It wasn’t my choice and I have been depressed ever since. I went to therapy a few times to talk it out, but I’m still sad.

I think getting out and meeting new people would help and I would like to try dating again (don’t worry, I won’t be one of those sad sacks moaning about my ex-wife).

I started looking up girls I used to go to high school with and some of them appear to be single, based on their Facebook profiles. Is it weird for me to contact them out of the blue and ask them out for coffee? I was pretty popular in high school and had lots of friends, but that was more than 25 years ago, and I haven’t seen most of those people since then.

What would be a good way for me to break the ice? I don’t want to come off as creepy.

Any tips would be much appreciated. I feel like a loser.

— Starting Over, Winnipeg

Dear Starting Over,

One of the most endearing things about Canadians — and especially us Winnipeggers – is that we are totally OK with announcing when we feel like a loser.

Feeling like a loser in school led me to write my first movie about feeling like a loser, and then I found out there were a lot of us who feel like a loser at some point. The truth is that none of us ever feels like a winner all the time. Sometimes we do. Mostly, we don’t.

Feeling like a loser leaves us feeling vulnerable and worried it won’t end. But if we want it to end, it will. I can see you want it to end because you wrote a letter asking for advice. This is a start. You’re on your way out of this.

Life is cyclical and you are currently in the upside-down part of the ride. Hang on, don’t throw up. The ride ends and you will be right-side up soon.

I think you have some good ideas and contacting your class as a group might be more fun and less worrisome for the single ladies. You could start a social media group called Class of (insert date here) Unofficial Reunion and just invite a few people to meet at a local restaurant. Contact some married people and some single women you are interested in and you can then mix and mingle your way to a date.

With hope,

Nia

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Dear Nia,

I’ve got a toddler who, most of the time, is a lovely little guy. My husband and I kind of won the baby lottery; he has always been a decent sleeper, a relatively good eater (and we haven’t had to deal with allergies) and an all-around very content, sweet and happy kid.

However, recently, the terrible twos have reared their ugly head in one specific way — when he doesn’t get his way, his first reaction is to take a swing at us or slap us. He’s strong, so it legitimately hurts sometimes!

I know this is, by all accounts, pretty normal toddler behaviour, but as a mother yourself, I’m wondering if you might have any tips or tricks to share to get him to stop. We’ve tried redirection, time-outs and explaining to him that it hurts us, but it’s just not sinking in.

Any advice is appreciated!

— Parental Punching Bag

Dear Parental Punching Bag,

I wrote about this in my book! When I adopted my toddler, I got a daily punch in my nether regions.

Basically, and this might be a bad idea to you, but I am going to describe what worked for me: a chart on the wall labelled GENTLE, and a page of favourite character stickers. I would start every day with the words, “gentle, gentle” and to illustrate the word, we would carefully pet the dog together, repeating, “gentle, gentle.” And then a reward sticker was given for gently petting the dog.

If I was punched, no sticker was given. If it was a “gentle day,” a sticker was given and then put on the chart.

When we counted three stickers together, the reward was singing, “gentle, gentle!” with everyone dancing. And one M&M was given.

Before the Parents Police come after me for using food as a reward, hear me out. To Greeks, food is a reward, period. Let’s all eat and have fun parenting.

And by the way, my gentle adult child is not addicted to M&Ms. So it worked.

Wishing you luck,

Nia