Columnists
Be generous guests to gratify wild granny
5 minute read 2:01 AM CSTDEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We’re having a get-together with our kids for some daytime visiting on Christmas Eve this year — at my mother’s request.
You may be envisioning a doddering, doting older woman, but nope. Mildly cursing, cigar-smoking, poker-playing granny is more like it. She wants us there, mid-afternoon — “and bring your own beer,” she said.
I’m hoping the snow is sticky, so my wife and I can take the little kids outside beyond the thick cigarette smoke to build a snowman. Then we can go in to see Grandma, scarf down some treats, bundle our guys up and head home for a real dinner.
It’s a bit of a quick, rushed visit — my mom and I don’t agree on much, but we do love one another. And she doesn’t cook for me — it’s much safer that way.
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Song should be about your wife, not you
4 minute read Yesterday at 2:00 AM CSTDEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: How can I express to my bashful new wife this Christmas how lucky I am to have her in my life when she tears up and runs to the bedroom and hides her head under a pillow?
She never got any praise in her younger life, so my words make her dissolve into tears.
I’m an entertainer and I want people to know what a lucky guy I am, but if I put my sentiments into a song written for her, she’ll never be comfortable hearing it with anyone but me.
I really don’t want to make my woman cry, but the only thing I’m rich in is the gifts from her in my life, which was very lonely offstage for far too long.
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5 minute read Preview Monday, Dec. 22, 2025Don’t waste time now mutual interest is clear
4 minute read Monday, Dec. 22, 2025DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just received a suspicious gift of flowers from my recent ex-boss. I changed jobs last month because I had fallen in love with him, and he didn’t seem to reciprocate my feelings in any way I could sense. But he has since broken up with his longtime girlfriend!
I used to tease him about being too cheap to marry her and make an honest woman of her, and come to think of it, he did give me long, searching looks when I did that. I think he maybe he cared about me too much to be my boss. What do you think?
— Nervous, But Wanting Him, St. Norbert
Dear Nervous: The recent flowers were a clear message he cares about you. So, don’t ignore him any longer. Get busy on this project! You two are wasting even more time now, when you could be having a wonderful time together.
No one averse to verse when sweets are involved
4 minute read Sunday, Dec. 21, 2025DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Help! It’s almost Christmas and I need really cheap and easy presents for my immediate family (six people), plus two grandparents. I’ve been stupidly dragging my feet, because I lack self-confidence in buying gifts. Also, I’m 15, so I don’t have much money.
What can you suggest for me at this late date? I have no talents outside of sports, other than baking and “creative writing” at school. I have a couple boxes of Christmas cards and tags Mom gave me, and she said she’d give me a stack of paper plates and baking ingredients, if I wanted to bake.
But that’s it for her help! She’s annoyed, and says I’m “on my own at this late date.” What should I do?
— Worried Son, North Kildonan
Big, bold beverages to ward off the winter chill
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3 minute read Saturday, Dec. 20, 2025DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife has gotten into women’s ice hockey and she’s quite good at it. I hate the cold, but I don’t want to stay home by the fire. They play outdoors a fair bit and I don’t think I could manage being in the stands with the hockey husbands cheering their wives for a full game! I’m a skinny guy and would freeze.
Still, I can’t help but feel a little jealous and left out. What can I do?
— Pouting, St. James
Dear Pouting: You could appoint yourself the team’s social photographer. That way, rather than being sedentary in the cold you could flit around taking photos of her team on the ice playing, goofing around or warming up inside. You could also then make pit stops in the warm clubhouse on the excuse you need to edit and post photos of the action, ASAP.
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3 minute read Friday, Dec. 19, 2025DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a broke-as-a-joke first-year university student with no money for Christmas gifts this year, but I really want to give something to the close people in my family.
I’m the first person in my family to go past high school; they say they’re depending on me to get rich and look after them one day.
They say they’re not expecting any gifts, but I know they’ve already bought presents for me because I’ve overheard them talking.
What can I give that won’t cost me anything?
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