DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend and I, who lived together until recently in her former-marriage house, fought all the way through the holidays and were coming to the bitter end. She kept bringing up her former husband, but I refused to discuss him with her. I think she wants him back.

When I told her on New Year’s Eve I’d had it with her and that I already had an apartment rented and was possession of the keys, I thought she would throw a fit. But she just said, “Sometimes things happen quickly,” and then got busy on her phone, privately.

Two hours later, she told me she wouldn’t get in my way, and said she even had a few guys who could help move me as long as I had my things packed and ready the next day and gave her money for the movers. I was insulted, but she didn’t want much cash, so I went for it.

Imagine my surprise when a moving company’s vehicle showed up and the movers had me out of there and into my new apartment in a couple of hours. It was a great deal all round, I guess. So why am I still upset?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend got drunk and told a bunch of girlfriends the juicy details of our sex life. Well, it’s backfiring on her because I’m getting lewd, supposedly humorous messages from a couple of the women present for that conversation. Apparently my kiss-and-tell sweetheart made me out to be a passionate, generous guy when it comes to sex.

It’s a nice compliment, but it’s only made things uncomfortable for me and I’m really not interested in any other women.

I’m kind of mad at my girlfriend for bragging about me as it’s turned into a very awkward “advertisement” for my abilities. What now?

— Unwanted Attention, Exchange District

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: : I just about leapt out of my skin recently. My husband came into the living room holding my personal pleasure toy, yelling, “Say hello to your little buddy!”

Then he tossed it at me, and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

I was so embarrassed. But hey, a woman needs some extra excitement too. I’ve tried everything to spice up our 25-year marriage. For instance, I’ve tried to introduce friends’ suggestions for sex toys into our mutual love life, but I was shot down every time.

At this point, we haven’t had sex for six months. After too long feeling unsatisfied, I purchased a sex toy just for myself. Now, I get the pleasure I deserve, even if it’s from a little machine.

It’s a good thing crop farming takes place on the land, not paper. Because on paper, growing crops in Manitoba will be a bit of a bust this year when it comes to operating a successful business.

The 2026 crop production cost estimates published by Manitoba Agriculture point to“stubbornly high input costs” as a key barrier to profitability.

Marginal returns over total costs, or net profit, are projected to be largely negative from any crops shown in these calculations, provincial farm management specialist Darren Bond said in an online presentation outlining the highlights — or rather lowlights — of the 2026 budgets.

Only one out of 16 commonly grown crops in the province showed a profit for 2026 when provincial number-crunchers put fixed costs such as land, operating costs such as fertilizer and fuel, and labour against average yields and price estimates. And even that one is paltry.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a loving lesbian woman who is a bit shy. After an expensive dinner out (my treat for my new girlfriend’s birthday) she drove me to her place where she had her favourite romance scene partly set up. She had told me about it over dinner, and it involved far too many lit candles for my big fear of fire. I’m not much of an actor and I’m scared stiff of getting burned.

I somehow managed to fall asleep while she was getting everything ready to go and she had to wake me up. I had totally lost my nerve by then. I freaked and grabbed my jacket and went outside in the cold to book a ride home. I didn’t want her driving me. What chance do I have with her now?

— Lonely, Westwood

Dear Lonely: You’re not a performative-type lovemaker and definitely need someone who is more natural — not to mention safety-conscious.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife has been having an affair and it’s been so poorly executed that I actually know the guy’s addresses — both home and work. I have been checking him out recently, and I just found out how much money he earns.

Here’s my problem: I would expose him to his spouse, but he diverts my wife away from nastier ways of getting me back for my little extramarital adventures.

My wife is not the sharpest tool in the shed. She’s just very good-looking in some obvious ways and looks after our kids very well.

So what should I do?