DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife left me on Christmas Eve 2024 and said she’d be back to check on me someday to see if I ever quit drinking.

Ha. I was ready to show that woman. I did quit, but she never came back to check in a whole year, even when I invited her. We simply got divorced.

The joke’s on her because I met a great woman who was also kicking the booze for good, and we are both graduates of the Alcoholics Anonymous program, or should I say “lifers,” because we’ll stay on the program together, forever.

Well, guess who phoned me a week ago to inquire about my drinking status? I could tell by my ex-wife’s loud voice that she had been drinking. I told her I’m in love with a new woman I met in the AA program and we’re keeping each other sober and are very happy about everything.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a divorced woman who is making a New Year’s resolution to ask out guys I want to get to know better. So far, I’ve made a list of three.

It takes a lot of courage. I’m not a young woman, and I’m in sales. The only thing I can’t seem to sell is myself — and I’m friendly and nice-looking. Should I ask them out all at once, like I would if I were blitzing a sale, or should I try one and if that doesn’t work, try another?

— Blitzer, St. James

Dear Blitzer: The blitz makes more sense for you because dating one at a time could wear you out emotionally, after even one or two rejections.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into a man from my past who has just moved back to Winnipeg. This is a problem, because I’m very attracted, and he’s also feeling it — but he has a partner of the male variety right now.

Yes, he’s a little bisexual. But he also says he wants to take me out to a great place “just for dinner.” I’m afraid to get together with him privately and maybe end up in bed with him — when he already has a lover.

This puzzle is giving me a headache. Please help me.

— Competing With a Guy? St. Boniface

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The first of January is when I always try make a few halfhearted new year’s resolutions. But I’m always a bit crabby and annoyed, and in low-in energy mode after the holidays and the kids being off school.

I generally fail miserably even in making a coherent list of resolutions, then I feel overwhelmed and negative — so I watch TV all day, everyday, until my work holiday’s over.

It really annoys my wife — she says I’m “such a loser” sometimes. Last year she told me I needed a shrink. That’s just ridiculous. So, what can I do for myself this January that will make me feel strong and renewed?

— January Deadbeat, Elmwood

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met my birth sister recently at a hockey rink after people kept pointing out this player who looked just like me, only taller.

Part way through the game, somebody brought her over to meet me. She looked identical, even down to my odd-coloured eyes.

She just looked at me long and hard and said, “You must be … my sister?”

I explained that her biological mom gave birth to a me as a young teenager and then I was adopted, just like she was.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Boxing Day is such a drag for me. I have a hard time getting adjusted to post-Christmas nothingness, when everything feels over and done. There’s less music, less fun and a whole lot of cleaning up.

People are tired and family members start nitpicking and fighting at home. Is there any way to de-escalate from Christmas, so it doesn’t feel like such a big thud with nothing fun ahead? Help.

— Dragging My Christmas Tail, St. James

Dear Dragging: Some people elevate their sagging moods after Christmas with board games or card tournaments — taking on relatives or next-door neighbours.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We’re having a get-together with our kids for some daytime visiting on Christmas Eve this year — at my mother’s request.

You may be envisioning a doddering, doting older woman, but nope. Mildly cursing, cigar-smoking, poker-playing granny is more like it. She wants us there, mid-afternoon — “and bring your own beer,” she said.

I’m hoping the snow is sticky, so my wife and I can take the little kids outside beyond the thick cigarette smoke to build a snowman. Then we can go in to see Grandma, scarf down some treats, bundle our guys up and head home for a real dinner.

It’s a bit of a quick, rushed visit — my mom and I don’t agree on much, but we do love one another. And she doesn’t cook for me — it’s much safer that way.