Santa, baby, please don’t forget Winnipeg A heartfelt wish list for our once and future great city By: Jen Zoratti Posted: 4:35 PM CST Friday, Dec. 22, 2023 Last Modified: 5:19 PM CST Friday, Dec. 22, 2023 Updates

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/12/2023 (1011 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Santa,

Long time, no write. How have you been keeping? How’s your blood pressure as we get closer to the Big Show? How’s Mrs. C?

I thought about you a lot when it seemed like everyone from MPI to MLL was going on strike this year, but I trust you run a union workshop and that both the elves and the reindeer have good contracts.

Hey, do you still have your original reindeer? Or are you on, like, Prancer 635 and Vixen 872 by now? I wasn’t sure if they had achieved your level of immortality. By the way, I see you celebrated the big 1,752 this year. Congratulations!

I know Christmas is days away, so this letter probably feels a little late to you. But you’re not getting it on Dec. 24 so, technically, it’s early — at least for me. Ask any Free Press editor.

Speaking of, I recently re-read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and got to the part where your nose is described as being like a cherry. Santa, have you ever WebMDed some of the stuff Clement Clarke Moore wrote about you? I… wouldn’t.

I know, I’m stalling. Look, I’m going to level with you, Mr. C. I’ve not been an angel all year. I’ve gossiped and procrastinated. I have been passive-aggressive and have laughed at memes of people falling down. But I trust you are familiar with my previous achievements as a Very Good Girl from back when I used to write to you more regularly: straight-A student, responsible Eldest Daughter, pleasure to have in class, big hit with people’s parents — including achieving the highest possible honour, the Why Can’t You Be More Like Her Award.

I’m relying on past performance to ask you for a bunch of big-ticket items (that’s still how this works, right?). I’m not asking for me, but for Winnipeg. There is, for your convenience, a tree located at city hall.

First of all, can you please fix Peggo?

We are in desperate need of a better way to board the bus in this town. Unlike most large urban centres where you can simply download a tap or scan-enabled app that you can replenish with money or passes right on your phone, we must rely on a physical “reloadable smart card” that often doesn’t work.

And I know what you’re thinking. Surely even without a fancy app you could reload your card via a website and have instant access to those funds? Ho, ho, no. It takes a cool 48 hours for those funds to become accessible, so you might as well buy paper tickets at a Sev like it’s 2007. Can you believe that Santa? I, for one, cannot.

I mean, you obviously don’t have this problem since you get around via a flying magic sleigh that doesn’t have passengers or, it seems, baggage-weight limits. But I bet that if you did take passengers, there’d be a tappable Dasher Pass we could download. It must be nice to fly around the world, eating unlimited cookies. Did you know many airlines don’t even have cookies anymore?

Moving on, do you think you could help move supervised consumption sites along?

Not to get all heavy on you on this, so close to Christmas, but many people are dying from drug overdoses and supervised consumption sites are an important link in the chain of harm reduction, and can often connect people who use drugs to other services.

Winnipeg still doesn’t have a supervised consumption site owing, in large part, to opposition from previous provincial governments. The new government seems more amenable to the idea, but don’t let them spend too long in the “consultation” part of the process. I know you, too, love to make a list and check it twice, but let’s get moving on this. People’s lives depend on it.

Lastly, can you slip a cheque under the tree for our local arts scene?

The pandemic was crushing for artists, venues and organizations who are still struggling to recover, and many individuals can’t afford to make art anymore with everything costing more. When that happens, our civic, provincial and national identity is poorer for it.

Do we want art to become a side hobby or something that can only be practised by the very rich? I don’t think so. You’re an artisanal maker. You get it.

Anyway, see what you can do, big guy. I believe in you.

X0X 0X0,

Jen

jen.zoratti@winnipegfreepress.com