‘I had a wonderful life despite all the hard stuff’ Chronically ill, disabled Free Press columnist Shawna Forester Smith died last week, three months after writing this Compass for Living By: Shawna Forester Smith Posted: 4:53 PM CST Tuesday, Feb. 18, 2025

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/02/2025 (591 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Winnipeg Free Press readers were introduced to columnist Shawna Forester Smith in February 2024. The chronically ill, disabled Ojibwa writer and health-care advocate lived in a chronic care unit at Deer Lodge Centre.

It was her hope, through the column, that readers would gain an understanding of what life is like in chronic care.

Readers were quick to learn Shawna was a fighter, that she chose to live valiantly. She was also a fighter for others, calling out shortcomings and systematic failures in the health-care system.

On Feb. 14, Shawna was admitted to the ICU where she died due to complications related to pneumonia. She fought to the bitter end.

Shawna loved writing the column. She loved the relationships it created. Readers would send her gift cards, notably for McDonald’s coffee — her favourite — birthday cards, crafting supplies and drop in for a visit.

Despite her tenacity, Shawna was also realistic about her long-term prognosis and, in her pragmatic way, knew what she wanted to say in her final column.

So she wrote it, three months ago, in anticipation of an eventuality that arrived far too soon.

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This last column I won’t ever read because if you’re reading this, it means I have left this Earth for whatever is next.

Someone I knew left a Compass for Living when she died and I thought it was brilliant, so I am stealing her idea. Thanks, JoAnn — may your memory be a blessing.

So here it is.

Shawna’s Compass for Living

1. Collect people, not things. Things offer fleeting happiness. Relationships are what give our lives meaning and purpose, not stuff.

2. Choose love. Love the shit out of your family and friends. Tell people that you love them. Show love towards strangers because we are all connected.

3. Choose kindness. It’s actually less effort to be kind than it is to be an asshole. Perform acts of kindness every day. They don’t have to be big or expensive. It can be as simple as giving a hug or listening to someone.

4. You’re never too old for a stuffy. This I was told by a wise beyond her years nine-year-old who died far too young.

5. Don’t be afraid to do things because of the word ‘no.’ Because what if they say yes?

6. There’s no such thing as too much education or wasted learning.

7. You can have more than one soulmate.

8. Family is also the people we choose.

9. Every stranger has the potential to be a friend.

10. Help people if you can — it’s the right thing to do. Help as many people as you can. Help your family and friends and help strangers, too. You will rarely regret helping someone.

11. The best gift you can give someone is your time.

12. Visit the sick, elderly and isolated people who you know. Visit them often. It means more than you will ever know.

13. Write people letters and send people cards. It’s a delight to get fun mail.

14. Be grateful. Be gracious. Remember to say miigwetch.

15. Leave the judgment to the Creator. Try not to judge others — we don’t walk their path.

16. We get out of life what we put into it. If you want love, love others. If you want to be treated with respect, respect others. It’s pretty simple really.

17. We’re all creative. Find your outlet. Creating is medicine.

18. It’s not so much what happens to us that matters in life, it’s how we react to what happens to us that really matters. That is what we have control over.

19. It’s never too late to forgive or ask for forgiveness. Don’t leave the Earth with unfinished business. Make right the wrongs.

20. Find your person. The person who gets you better than anyone else. The person you feel safe with and trust. The person who you can bare your soul to. The person who loves you warts and all. The person who will always be there for you. We all need a person like that.

I have so much love and gratitude for all the caregivers who looked after me on my journey. Without them, I would have been dead years ago.

I had a really good life despite it being really hard. I loved so many people and I was loved by so many people. I fell in love and remained in love with my husband, Brent, for over 20 years. I also found my “person.”

I had the love of not one, but four families because of adoption, finding my birth families and marriage. I had a huge chosen family. There are so many people who called me their daughter, their sister and their auntie who I didn’t share blood with.

There are a lot of people who called me their bestie. I had more than one person I considered a kindred spirit.

I made connections with so many caregivers over the years. People who shared laughter and tears with me. People who worried about me. Some of them told me their secrets and asked me for advice.

I have so much love and gratitude for all the caregivers who looked after me on my journey. Without them, I would have been dead years ago. They gave me the gift of time. And what a wonderful gift that was.

Writing about my life was a surprise but those were the columns you readers seemed to enjoy the most. And, I really enjoyed writing them.

I’d like to thank all of you for being there, too. So many people have reached out to me to tell me how much my writing meant to them and what an impact it made. People also honoured me by sharing their stories and struggles. It truly was an honour.

I was inundated with cards, letters, emails, phone calls, messages on social media, gifts, homemade gifts, flowers and even people surprising me by coming in person to see me. I made friends because of the column. People asked if they could visit me.

Never in a million years when I started this column in February 2024, did I expect any of this. I didn’t plan on writing that much about me. My plan was to write about health-care issues. The paper initially didn’t commit to anything either.

Writing about my life was a surprise but those were the columns you readers seemed to enjoy the most. And, I really enjoyed writing them. Chi miigwetch for all the love and support you gave me. It was a great gift.

I also want to thank the Free Press. Editor Paul Samyn took a chance on me. I made sure to thank him for that.

My fearless editor, Scott Gibbons, was a pleasure to work with. He had the gift of being able to edit my writing without distorting my voice. That is not something that every editor can do. He always understood the importance of what I was doing.

I was allowed to write about whatever I wanted. That’s pretty much every columnist’s dream job. They helped make a lifelong dream come true for me. It never felt like work. I enjoyed writing every word. I also enjoyed writing back to everyone who wrote to me.

Life is hard, but life is also amazing. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

I’ll end this by reminding you the most important thing in life is the people we choose to share it with. You can never have too many people. Strangers are just people we aren’t friends with yet. Don’t get so preoccupied with living life that your relationships suffer.

Make time for the people in your life. Don’t put off spending time with your family and friends. The laundry will still be there.

Make sure your people know how much you love them. If you put love into the universe, you will be showered with love in return. And isn’t that wonderful.

Life is hard, but life is also amazing. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I’d appreciate fewer health conditions if I had a second kick at the can, but I had a wonderful life despite all the hard stuff. The good stuff made it worth it.

If there’s a newspaper in the afterlife, hopefully they will let me write for it. I won’t let fear of ‘no’ stop me from asking this time. Because what if they say yes?