Anxious and tired Krull family responds to speculation

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This article was published 05/08/2015 (3801 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

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They’ve tried to ignore the whispers and the gossip. The armchair sleuthing and mean-spirited musings.

But they admit, as the search for their missing loved one drags into a fourth straight week, that it can be tough to swallow when there are few answers and many questions.

And so family members of Thelma Krull sat down on Wednesday with the Free Press to address some of the speculation head-on. And to remind Winnipeggers that a desperate search for the 57-year-old woman is still underway.

Yes, they have all been treated like potential suspects by police. No, they insist they had nothing to do with her disappearance.

Yes, they may have referred to her in the past tense during a news conference. No, they promise that wasn’t a sign of trying to hide anything.

Yes, hope is fading with each passing day. No, they haven’t given up hope that Krull might somehow still be alive.

“This whole scenario is straight out of a movie. But sometimes movies end with happy endings,” Krull’s daughter, Lisa Marquis Besser, said during an hour-long interview at her mother’s home in Harbourview South.

Also seated around the table were Krull’s husband of 29-years, Bob, who said little but could be seen wiping tears from eyes on several occasions. He was clearly worn down, a fact he attributes to getting only a few hours of poor quality sleep each night. His waking hours are spent working for Winnipeg Transit, and walking extensively around the neighbourhood, usually alone with his thoughts.

“I wanted to go back to work. I just needed to get back into the swing of things. I don’t sleep well. But what I’ve been doing is walking. I don’t search, I just walk. There’s a lot of paths. An hour and a half, two hours every day. Then I get ready for work, do that, come home and go to bed,” he said quietly.

He admits he’s been getting professional help for what he’s currently going through, which includes constantly replaying their final hours spent together.

Family members know there are some people out there — including members of the police homicide unit now leading the high-profile case — who instantly looked to Bob when Thelma went missing shortly after leaving on a morning hike on July 11. It’s a well-known fact that when foul play is involved, it’s often those closest to the victim who are involved.

Those suspicions, they admit, were likely enhanced when he told members of the media his wife “was” a great person shortly after she vanished.

Thelma Krull’s daughter, Lisa Marquis Besser (Mike Deal / Winnipeg Free Press)

“You take the most devastating thing that’s ever happened to you in your life, you take the person who is closest to you away, you put yourself in a state of being sad, depressed, lost, confused, exhausted mentally and physically, and then you throw a bunch of people in your face and some video cameras… Until you’re there and in that position, it’s hard to say the right words,” Marquis Besser said of her stepfather’s comments.

“We’ve all read at least one or two or more posts (on social media) about somebody’s opinion. You take everything with a grain of salt. It’s hard to hear when somebody’s saying something and they don’t know you. We know their accusation or their opinion is not true. We don’t let it bother us. We know what’s right.”

For the record, Bob said he didn’t even realize the slip-of-the-tongue until it was pointed out after the fact. He was out of his element, not comfortable with public speaking but thrust into the media spotlight with the hope it could help develop some leads.

Krull’s best friend and co-worker, Connie Muscat, said everyone within their circle knows Bob wasn’t involved, nor anyone else who loved the missing woman.

“Past tense is something that often happens when you’re talking about a person who’s not literally with you,” Muscat said Wednesday.

“This was random. People need to understand that. She’s a grandma, She’s a mom. She’s a friend. I know people want to sleep at night so they need to convince themselves there’s more to the story. But there isn’t. She went for a morning jog on a beautiful Saturday. That could have been any of us.”

Still, police have spent plenty of time in recent weeks interviewing all members of the family individually, and asking many of the same questions repeatedly.

“The police definitely asked us all the questions at the start. They asked the questions more than once. That’s their job. They ruled that out. They moved on,” said Marquis Besser.

“We want them to be checking off everything they can. We want them to look at everyone they have to, that means they’re leaving no stone unturned,” added Muscat.

Family friend, Connie Muscat. (Mike Deal / Winnipeg Free Press)

The family’s original hope was that Krull perhaps just suffered a minor injury or medical issue that caused her to become disoriented, maybe lose track of time or location. And that she was waiting to be found. Obviously, with so much time having passed, that seems less likely.

They have watched nervously as police conducted several major searches, most recently with members of the dive unit going into a retention pond last week at Kilcona Park. There were similar anxious feelings when police revealed they’d found Krull’s glasses near Valley Gardens Community Centre.

“It could be different scenarios with that. She may have tripped and fell. She may have been pushed. She may have been grabbed. It doesn’t really answer any questions… It’s definitely mixed emotions. You don’t necessarily want them to find something because it could be negative, but on the other hand not knowing is really hard as well,” said Marquis Besser.

“We’ve looked, as the police have looked, in a ton of different areas. It’s amazing how much green space and thick brush and how dense of a forested area right in the middle of the city that there is. Definitely at the beginning we were leaning more towards she was injured and then we would be able to find her. At this point, you know it has been a lot of time that’s passed, are we looking towards other scenarios? Yeah.”

The family wants to make it crystal clear those scenarios don’t involve Krull being suicidal or wanting to simply run away for a fresh start.

“No chance. My mom was very, very family-oriented. She would never, ever put anybody through this. Completely ruled out,” said Marquis Besser. She notes how her mother filled the home with inspirational messages such as “Live. Love. Laugh” and Post-It notes saying things like “start each day with a smile.”

“I know people like to think ‘oh the family is just ignoring facts.’ She was the one that reminded us why life was so precious, and why we should always be so positive. She loves Bob with all of her heart, they had a great marriage, she loves her kids, her kid’s kid, she loves her life. She wouldn’t put anyone through a quarter of what we’re going through now,” said Muscat.

With those options negated in the family’s mind, and the medical scenario seeming less plausible, it only leaves what statistically would be the least likely result — a random, stranger-type attack against Krull. It’s hard for the family to fathom, given that Krull seemingly was friendly to everyone and had no enemies.

“The mind can take you so many different directions. Thinking in any of those directions isn’t going to help now. I live in the now. I try not to think too much about the past because it’s going to upset me. I don’t think about the future because I don’t know what the future is,” said Marquis Besser. “To go into any sort of dark recluse place isn’t going to help the situation, it’s not going to bring her back home, so I don’t go there.”

So they continue to search and support each other, and fend off those dark thoughts that usually come at night. And they admit to being much more suspicious of others, more anxious about their surroundings.

“Every day I correspond with the main investigator liaison. It is an active case. The more resources out there on the police force the better. They’ve gotten over 200 leads. They investigate and follow up on every one. We understand that takes a lot of time,” said Marquis Besser.

“They’re working hard. Eventually we believe something has to break… We’re not going to let it stop until she’s home.”

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