Their own way to roll

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/02/2011 (5431 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

First of all, it’s not what you’d think. What you’d think is roller derby is a bunch of guys drinking beer and ogling girls going round and round in sexy uniforms.

So you’d expect to see a lot of men at last night’s match between the Murder City Maidens (The home team? Surely not) versus the Red Deer Nightshades.

But look in the stands and you see a surprising number of couples. Look some more and you realize there are more women than men in the stands. Not just more, way more. For guys wondering where all the women are on a Saturday night? They’re here.

“Girl power! Woooo!” shouts Tracy Wikstrom. Her impressions of her first roller-derby match? “It’s fun. It’s exciting. I love it.”

Then there’s the spectacle. It’s like Rocky Horror Picture Show found a new venue.

With their torn fishnet stockings and otherwise tarty attire and sneering looks, the skaters look like they just walked out of women’s prison movie Caged Heat. One woman has the word “bitch” stencilled over and over on her stockings.

“You know what? Most of them are moms,” reveals Wikstrom, whose friend is the Murder City Maiden known as Asstastic.

They are introduced individually to start the match, and each player skates a couple of laps with some schtick, from patting their rear ends at the crowd, to egging the crowd on with their hands.

Then there are the names. There is actually a registry for all the roller derby skater names in North America and you’re not supposed to use any name already taken (although you can use the same name with a different spelling).

Some names can’t be printed here. Others are Kris Myass, Pint-Size Poison, Booty and the Beast and Red de Lizcious playing for the Maidens. Visitors include Bitch Slap, Tye Die, Fatal Fantasy, and Portia de Saucy.

Even the referees get into it with names like Buck U. Hardigan. The more over-the-top, the better. It’s as if the underground of warped fantasies surfaced for a few hours.

Even the numbers are off the charts. Two players boast fantasy bra sizes for numbers. In fact, 36FF for the Maidens sang the national anthem. Another player’s number is in suggestive inches (her name can’t be printed here either), Pint-Size’s number is 4’11”, and Sourpuss Slasher’s number is 911. They write the numbers in felt marker on a bare shoulder like prisoners.

And the game itself? By now, you’d think the game is fixed and even anticlimatic after the pounding music and rock concert-type buildup before the show. But the game makes you forget all the rest.

It’s not fake, the women insist, and doesn’t look it. The girls are really trying — crashing and bruising through human walls to score points. There isn’t a lot of physicality in most women’s sports.

“A lot of girls we have, have never found a sport that made sense to them before,” said Tatiana Warkentin, a player on a local team and director of marketing for the Winnipeg Roller Derby League.

Saturday’s crowd was in full throat, fired up by the contact and spills and bruises.

As for the vampy names and costumes, Warkentin said a lot of people compare it to wrestling. “The theatre is not lost on us. We really like the camp.”

They’re impossibly good sports, patting each other and saying a kind word during breaks in the action. Last night’s match had to be delayed a good half hour to let in all the walk-ups. Organizers were hoping for 1,800 people. All 2,000 seats at the Winnipeg Convention Centre sold out. Tickets were $13, plus various fees.

The sport is growing rapidly. There are about 80 players in Winnipeg now, playing for three teams: the Backseat Betties, the Valkyries, and The Corporation. There are another 20 women, called Fresh Meat, trying to break in, and their trials will come up in spring. There are 35,000 registered players in North America.

There was a rumour circulating last night that Winnipeg’s next roller derby won’t be for another year. People who attended last night’s match will see red if that’s true.

Meanwhile, the Murder City Maidens plans to add to the city’s homicide rate Saturday night were thwarted. The Nightshades from Red Deer pulled down the shades on the murderous Maidens 133 to 111.

bill.redekop@freepress.mb.ca