Two heart-wrenching suicides

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/05/2015 (4184 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

One Garden City Collegiate teacher who taught two Grade 12 students who committed suicide in the past week asked, “How can I go in my room with two empty chairs?”

Seven Oaks superintendent Brian O’Leary, his voice choking up at times, relayed the sobering story Wednesday, the same day grief counsellors and mental-health workers were at the Jefferson Avenue high school offering support.

Students attended classes Wednesday wearing black to mourn the deaths of Bettina Rodriguez, who died May 1, and Arvyn Buenviaje, her boyfriend, who reportedly died Tuesday.

“The school is reeling,” O’Leary said.

“The first (death) was bad, the second is 10 times worse. They were both exemplary students, marks in the 90s — everybody loved them. This is a school that will need support through the end of the school year.”

On Wednesday, he said, “We took the first hour of the day, all the advisors met with their students for the first hour. We did the same Monday. We brought in extra staff, we have two adults in every room.”

O’Leary said the principal called him Saturday afternoon after learning of the first death, and O’Leary called together staff that afternoon.

The second student did come to school Monday, said O’Leary: “There was special attention being paid. He came to the school, then left.”

O’Leary, said he received a call Tuesday. “At first, there was some hope of resuscitation,” but the student died, he said.

“There’s lots of people” asking themselves if the deaths could have been prevented, O’Leary said. “I don’t think these deaths could have been prevented. The last thing that should happen is anyone at the school blaming themselves.”

Manitoba Teachers’ Society president Paul Olson visited the school to remind teachers that MTS has counsellors standing by to help them: “You have to help the helpers, and you have to care for the caregivers,” Olson said.

“It’s as bad as everyone would imagine, and worse,” he said. “Any teacher who’s taught long enough has attended the funerals of students.”

 

Regarding seeing the students in black, Olson said “It was very powerful walking in the door today. It speaks to the community they have there.”

The suicides have people “reeling,” say two Grade 10 students who started a petition calling for more help with mental health in schools.

“Mental health is a really big thing,” said Jasmine Deato at Garden City Collegiate. She and her friend Loizza Aquino at Vincent Massey Collegiate posted a petition Tuesday night, and by Wednesday morning it had more than 1,000 signatures from across Canada and the U.S.

Jasmine, 15, said she didn’t want to talk specifically about the deaths of her schoolmates but hoped the online petition would get people talking about the problem.

“I want to raise awareness about how important mental health could be in schools if schools could talk about it more — that’s what I hope it could do.”

Mental health is a priority in schools, said O’Leary.

“We’ve been working with the WRHA (Winnipeg Regional Health Authority) on mental-health initiatives for some time,” he said.

“It is a priority and will need to remain a priority.”

Kleefeld musician and school motivational speaker Robb Nash said after he’s spoken to schools about dealing with tragedy, he’s had more than 300 students hand him notes they had prepared for a potential suicide attempt.

His band leaves gaps in its heavy touring schedule for tragedies such as Garden City’s, where he’s willing to speak for free.

What happened at Garden City Collegiate is not an anomaly, said Nash. “To say that this is rare, is not the case.”

Nash said school communities need to communicate, to talk things out for as long as someone needs to talk, and not to try to contain feelings.

Nash, who survived a near-fatal accident, said the key is finding ways through a tragedy to help others.

“Some people make the mistake of saying that ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ ” he said. “That statement does so much damage, everyone has to sit back and figure out some big reason why it happened.

“People also try to comfort family in a time like this saying that ‘The pain will go away.’ It won’t. And it shouldn’t,” Nash said.

“There is the potential to find the strength to turn your tragedy around to help others. Some of the greatest heroes in the world have been people that have been through something horrific.”

nick.martin@freepress.mb.ca

carol.sanders@freepress.mb.ca