RITES, WRONGS and SPARTACUS

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This article was published 23/01/2011 (5419 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A wise man once said, “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” but these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.

“Ø MOVIES

BIG RELEASE: The Rite (Jan. 28)

THE BIG PICTURE: “I believe people prefer to lie to themselves than face the truth.” No, it’s not a new slogan for Fox News. They are the words of a skeptical seminary student (Colin O’Donoghue) tackling a case of demonic possession, under the tutelage of an unorthodox priest (Anthony Hopkins). The movie tells us that the Vatican receives half a million reports of demonic possession every year. (My guess? 75 per cent come from Tea Party rallies, 20 per cent come from Lindsay Lohan’s management, and five per cent are filed by Oprah’s boyfriend.)

FORECAST: The film features the usual “demon” calling cards: spooky children with black irises crawling on all fours, speaking like Tom Waits, and coughing up unknown, vile fluids. But the most telling line of the film is Hopkins’ dramatic exclamation, “Help me, God!” (One can only assume he’s talking about his career.)

But in a week when the other option (The Mechanic) is Jason Statham playing yet another assassin/hit man who wants revenge on his one-time employers, the Hollywood “battle for an original thought” may be at an all-time standstill.

My advice, go see an Oscar contender.

ALSO OPENING WIDE JAN. 28: The Mechanic

“Ø TV

BIG EVENT: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena (Sundays, The Movie Network; Movie Central).

THE BIG PICTURE: This is a big-budget prequel to the miniseries Spartacus: Blood and Sand. In Gods, a scheming political family watches their fortunes rise behind the infamous gladiator champion Gannicus. Lucy Lawless (Xena) returns as diabolical Lucretia — think of her as a hybrid of Lady Macbeth and Hillary Clinton.

FORECAST: If you like swords, sandals, violence and watching “Xena” work off a real script, this one is for you. But here’s hoping that, just once, the producers let Lawless strap on her old “warrior princess” gear and give the gladiators a run for their money.

ANOTHER BIG ONE: Hot in Cleveland’s Season 2 premiere (Jan. 24, 7, CTV). Are you tired of Betty White yet? Too bad.

“Ø music

BIG RELEASES ON JAN. 25: Destroyer (Kaputt) and Wanda Jackson (The Party Ain’t Over)

THE BIG PICTURE: Don’t let the name Destroyer fool you — this is no angry, metal band. New Pornographer Dan Bejar’s solo project offers up a new album, Kaputt, which promises another dazzling mix of electric experimentation, poetic lyrics and “European blues.” This is an easy early contender for a Polaris Prize.

Bejar is one of Canada’s finest talents; he makes Nickelback look like a bunch of stone-pounding neanderthals (Note: Nickelback also makes Nickelback look like a bunch of stone-pounding neanderthals).

Meanwhile, old-time swing queen Wanda Jackson is back with an album produced by The White Stripes’ Jack White. After what he did for Loretta Lynn (2004’s Van Lear Rose), expect great things from this album. White could produce an Alvin and the Chipmunks album that would leave music lovers in awe.

FORECAST: Always bet on White. Either Jack . . . or Betty.

OTHER BIG RELEASES ON JAN. 25: Cold War Kids (Mine is Yours), Iron & Wine (Kiss Each Other Clean)

— Postmedia News