Time to cook their GOOSE

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/02/2011 (5304 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

On Saturday, I heard the first Canada goose of the season flying over my inner-city Winnipeg home.

The lonely honker appeared to have arrived before most of his migratory buddies. But it’s not usual to see Canada geese in Winnipeg at this time of year, as most typically return in early March, according to The Birds of Manitoba, the ornithological bible in this part of the planet.

Personally, I find Canada geese hilarious. They waddle around like obese babies, seemingly too lazy to hurry away from people, vehicles or bikes. They stick out their tongues and hiss like angry little dinosaurs when you get too close to their nests. And their fuzzy-headed chicks totter on spindly feet with all the co-ordination the post-Milt Stegall receiving corps on the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

In other words, Canada geese are so comical, only a monster could hate these creatures. The problem is, Canada geese are also a pest species. After almost being extirpated from southern Manitoba 125 years ago, they have rebounded to the point of being more than just a minor nuisance in urban areas.

In some areas of southern Winnipeg, their feces foul schoolyards to the point where children have stayed indoors at recess. St. Norbert Coun. Justin Swandel famously pushed for a pilot project that saw specially trained dogs scare away Canada geese. His comrade in goose-hating arms, St. Vital Coun. Gord Steeves, wants the city to consider stringing goose-disrupting nets across drainage ponds.

City officials have quietly explored the idea of employing more active methods of controlling the goose population, but the fact remains there’s no safe way to shoot geese or deploy poison inside city limits.

Winnipeg is not quite at the point where flocks of geese threaten to down airplanes arriving at or leaving Richardson International Airport, as they do in some U.S. centres. But the fact is Winnipeg is now home to as many as 120,000 Canada geese during the peak pre-migration period in the fall — which means there’s one of these critters for every six Winnipeggers each September.

They may be funny. They may be cute. But their numbers have grown to the point where their guano is no longer an insignificant contributor to the nutrient-loading in the Lake Winnipeg drainage basin. If 120,000 house cats or human babies started crapping on schoolyards every September, you can bet there would be a determined effort to do something about the situation.

Obviously, it’s time to stop being sentimental about Canada geese and figure out a safe and humane way to kill them. And I’m not being facetious: the Canada goose is no longer a mere nuisance.

I realize this may be upsetting to some people. Whenever I write a story or column about Canada goose overpopulation, my inbox fills up with angry email from offended, if misguided bird lovers.

“Bartley Kives demonstrates his hatred of geese,” opined a letter writer in 2007. “Some people love Canada geese and view them as a symbol of Canada. Others don’t like them. Fortunately, very few Winnipeggers are as intolerant as Kives.”

I would argue Winnipeggers should grow more intolerant, because the presence of so many geese is not a natural phenomenon, in ecological terms.

Up until the 19th century, goose numbers were controlled by predators such foxes, weasels, owls, raccoons and coyotes. Hunters drove the population down when the Canadian prairies were colonized by Europeans.

But the expansion of cities in the 20th century allowed geese ample lawns, golf courses and drainage ponds to hang out and breed without fear of being hunted by human or animal predators. So we have created the situation. It’s up to us to rectify it.

Last week, when I asked readers to identify a definitively Manitoban food, one commenter wondered why so few Winnipeggers eat Canada geese.

It’s an excellent question. The Canada goose is perfectly edible. Its breast meat is dark and dense but no more difficult to prepare than other forms of game.

The bag limits for these birds are generous. During the fall hunting season, Canadian residents can take eight Canada geese per day, according to Manitoba Conservation.

Canada goose meat would be a healthy, cheap and sustainable addition to local soup kitchen and food-bank offerings, if someone could figure out the logistics involved in the mass production of wild game. The breast meat would also sell in high-end restaurants, given the fascination with all things local.

Now before you consider this crazy, you must realize the vast majority of the beef, pork and chicken you eat comes from captive animals raised and slaughtered in far less humane conditions. If you protest hunting while you eat the products of factory farms, you’re a hypocrite, I’m sorry to say.

Environmentally and ethically, there is only one course of action. It’s time for us to cook the goose, Winnipeg.