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Haiku Horoscopes

By: Jonathan Ball, Registered Fraud Posted:

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Aries (March 21 - April 19)

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/09/2013 (4688 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

óè

Directions to my

Party? Turn right at the tree

Then into the gorge

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

óè

Growing old can be

Hard, so I recommend that

You get immortal

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

óè

I just saw a dude

That was at least 50 and

Listening to Drake

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

óè

“Check yourself before

You wreck yourself” — Sigmund Freud,

The “Hey, you!” essay

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

óè

Crossword puzzles are

A great way to keep your mind

Actively hating

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

óè

Words of wisdom: when

Someone says “words of wisdom”

You can then tune out

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

óè

Get your holiday

Shopping done early, since you

Have one week to live

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

óè

28 thousand

Is a small price to pay for

Some meaningless trash

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

óè

The next time you feel

You aren’t appreciated

Remember: you aren’t

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

óè

They’ll be sorry they

Laughed at you and your clown hat

And floppy sneakers

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

óè

Biology’s not

Your subject, so stop going

To biology

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

óè

I regret to in

Form you that “inform” is one

Word and I cheated

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Haiku Horoscopes

By Jonathan Ball, Registered Fraud 1 minute read Thursday, Sep. 26, 2013

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

óè

Directions to my

Party? Turn right at the tree

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No matter the weather, ice cream is always a welcome addition to the day.

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