Bloated sci-fi silliness has a certain over-the-top appeal

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This article was published 06/02/2015 (4240 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

While consistently ludicrous, noisy, overproduced and downright campy, Andy and Lana Wachowski’s Jupiter Ascending has a certain bad-movie wackiness that makes it entertaining in spite of itself.

It’s kind of like all three of the Wachowskis’ Matrix movies, with the freaky-cool cachet of the first film and the tiresome bombast of the latter two, all rolled into one.

The Wachowskis cannibalize the concept behind The Matrix, with Mila Kunis cast as their distaff Neo. She is Jupiter Jones, an impoverished illegal alien of Russian heritage who toils cleaning the houses of the wealthy.

At least, that’s what she thinks she is. In fact, her lineage connects her to the royal Abrasax family — who might best be described as Borgias from outer space. Like Neo, she discovers she is someone special. And like Neo, she discovers that all of earthly humanity is a commodity to be exploited like cattle, in this case by a race of spoiled space aristocrats.

Jupiter comes across this epiphany when she shows up to a medical procedure, only to find herself in the hands of skeletal aliens intent on murder. Coming to her rescue (for the first of many times) is Caine Wise, a genetically spliced semi-canine hunter/warrior. (One can’t help but recall John Candy’s similarly composed creature in the sci-fi spoof Spaceballs, the mog — half-man, half-dog — Barf, except Tatum never gets to utter the immortal line: “I’m my own best friend.”)

Jupiter is in good hands. Caine surfs through the air on anti-gravity boots and can efficiently dispatch enemies by the dozens. Also, befitting his genetic makeup, he’s really, really loyal.

But he and his equally capable partner Stinger (Sean Bean) cannot keep Jupiter on Earth when rival hunters kidnap her and take her to visit the three Abrasax kids, starting with Kalique (Tuppence Middleton), who teaches Jupiter a bit about her twisted heritage, followed by the smooth-talking Titus (Douglas Booth), who informs her of the nasty nature of the family business. Last but not least, there’s Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the belligerent, vaguely bratty despot who will resort to any means to steal Jupiter’s legitimate claim to good old planet Earth.

Redmayne is an Oscar front-runner for his work as Stephen Hawking in The Theory of Everything, so let’s just say he employs a different section of his thespian tool belt, going full-on operatic to make Balem a too-indulged child with off-the-charts Oedipal issues.

If Redmayne runs hot, Tatum tries to play it cool as Caine, apparently in recognition of the fact his space-surfing, heroine-fetching character is just one cocked ear removed from Mel Brooks-ian parody.

It really falls on Kunis to try her best to give this movie a human heart, and while she can occasionally muster a warm, soulful screen presence, she is too often the damsel in distress, and too infrequently the resourceful, brave heroine this movie requires.

But again, Jupiter Ascending is not without its appeal in its eye-popping cinematography, costume design, makeup effects and visual effects, all above par.

Its most appealing aspect is its campy vibe, however. As some movie musicals have been repackaged as audience sing-alongs, this movie could benefit from special screenings where the audience is encouraged to provide snide commentary throughout. Certainly, it could make for a great home-viewing experience when the movie goes to DVD and video-on-demand.

randall.king@freepress.mb.ca