Choosing the perfect first dance song

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This article was published 21/09/2017 (3222 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

For many modern couples, it’s out with tried-and-true wedding traditions and in with trends: doughnut walls instead of tiered cakes, Mason jars over champagne glasses, colourful gowns and pantsuits in lieu of bright white dresses.

One wedding ritual, however, has stood the test of time: the first dance.

It was the most popular wedding tradition of 2016, with nearly 90 per cent of couples incorporating an inaugural spin into their festivities, according to a survey by Wedding Wire. It beat out the ceremonial cake-cutting, the bouquet toss and, yes, even the ubiquitous wedding hashtag.

But choosing a song for your first foray onto the dance floor as a married couple — finding a track that has the right tone, pace and lyrics to fit the setting and that appeals to a range of guests (from Grandma to college pals) — can be daunting.

“For many couples, it’s the thing they sweat the most,” says DJ Heather Femia, who has been spinning in Washington for about 12 years.

It also doesn’t help that there are seemingly endless options, thanks to music-streaming services such as Spotify. It can be fast or slow. Acoustic or electric. Current or classic.

“It is something you should pay attention to and not wait until the last moment,” Femia says.

“You don’t want it to feel like you’re counting down the minutes until it ends.”

Whatever song you choose doesn’t have to be timeless or perfect, or even mention the word love.

In the end, you both just need to love it.

“It can be something really special if you allow yourself the time to explore it, and enjoy it,” Femia says.

So, whether it’s Al Green or Green Day, here are ideas and suggestions on how, and where, to find first dance inspiration.

Pick something significant and sentimental

Take a trip down memory lane and come up with a list of songs that are meaningful to both of you and to your relationship. Maybe it’s the song on the radio during your first date or the encore to an unforgettable concert you attended. Even if one song doesn’t emerge as the winner, a list will help you formulate an idea for what genre and lyrics you both gravitate toward.

Listen to your music on shuffle

Pause Netflix for a night and instead play your favourite iTunes or Spotify playlists back and forth for each other on shuffle. Make sure to pause and note particularly dance-worthy tracks. Like the song but not sure whether it’ll fit the mood of the evening? Try giving your partner a spin in your living room. If the pace seems too fast or the lyrics don’t seem to fit, nix it.

Phone a friend

The people who know you best have probably seen, or at least heard about, your significant other since the beginning. If you trust their input — and musical tastes — consider asking them to suggest a song that reminds them of you and your partner. Even if you don’t wind up selecting one of their choices, it might be fun, and enlightening, to see what songs they come up with.

Use your venue as inspiration

Getting married in a century-old barn in the country? Consider an acoustic, country or folksy track, such as Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, or Easy to Love by Ivan and Alyosha. For a more formal evening in a museum or historical building, consider a classic, such as Louis Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World, Ray Charles’ Come Rain or Come Shine or Marvin Gaye’s You’re All I Need to Get By. For an offbeat location, like an art gallery or brewery, consider I Found You by Alabama Shakes, I Do by Meiko or May I Have This Dance by Francis and the Lights and Chance the Rapper.

Steal your favourite celebrity couple’s song choice

You look to stars for all sorts of inspiration, from what to wear to what to name your Labradoodle, so why not take a cue from the rich and famous when picking a first dance track? Former perennial bachelor George Clooney and his now-wife, Amal Alamuddin, danced to Cole Porter’s Why Shouldn’t I?, while Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux opted for the unconventional track Chandelier by Sia. Former boy bander Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel swayed to A Song for You by Donny Hathaway, while ex-lovebirds Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton chose the country ballad No Doubt About It by Neal McCoy.

Look to power couples for ideas

U.S. President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump chose Puccini’s operatic aria Nessun Dorma, while Barack and Michelle Obama grooved to You and I by Stevie Wonder. Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky went with the classic At Last by Etta James, while Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner danced to David Gray’s This Year’s Love.

Play your favourite movie soundtrack

No one captures romance quite like Hollywood, and luckily, some of film’s most memorable, heart-swooning moments are tied to music. Who could forget John Cusack’s boombox, blasting In Your Eyes in Say Anything, or Adam Sandler serenading Drew Barrymore midflight with I Wanna Grow Old With You in The Wedding Singer? Borrow their happily-ever-after musical moment for your own.

Enlist your DJ or band’s help

Ask your DJ or band leader for suggestions. Music is literally their business, so chances are they can help you set the right tone, mood and atmosphere. “I start off my sessions by asking couples, ‘What’s your generation? What’s your genre?’ And help them narrow it down from there,” Femia says.

Stuck between songs? Consider a mash-up

Looking to add a wow or surprise factor to the dance? Consider a fusion of songs, such as a simple, classic romantic ballad that segues into a happy, upbeat number that will encourage guests to make their way to the dance floor. It worked for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who mixed James’ At Last with These Arms of Mine and Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding.

Record your own unique track

Can you or your partner carry a tune or play an instrument? Consider pulling a Beyoncé and Jay-Z, by pre-recording your own original dance track. (The famous Carters wowed guests by dancing to their own collaboration, Crazy in Love, for their first dance.) Bonus: You won’t worry about it being overplayed on the radio or overdone at future weddings.

Still at a loss?

There’s always Google. There are hundreds of first dance wedding lists and suggestions online, from genre-specific curated lists (acoustic, rock ballads) to perennial favourites. Comb through lists with your loved one and see what jumps out at you. If all else fails, James’ At Last is always a fail-proof choice.

— Washington Post