Friendly (and foodie) Manitoba

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/03/2022 (1325 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Mr. Poo! The Rootin Tootin? A Manitobar!

I considered those delights from Annie’s Attic, Gunn’s, and Constance Popp when my sister probed from Minnesota, “Friends travelling to Manitoba wonder what different foods you have.”

I agonized about Loaf and Honey’s Monastic cheese, Bothwell cheeses, reputedly local creations like fergasa bread, wafer pie. Nips! Googs! Are apple jack pastries local? Did Homer’s really invent chicken souvlaki?

Manitoba wild rice and bison compel greater acclaim. Is Gord’s World Famous Parmesan-Pasta Pizza undiscovered, still?

La Cocina’s tortilla chips, Old Dutch ketchup chips, and Pizza Pops sell elsewhere in Canada — although for original Pops, Faraci’s Food Truck beckons, warning “Caution. Food is Extremely Hot.” I can’t just look at those charmers. That’s when I burn my mouth. Repeatedly.

OMG’s sell stateside. Pickerel, grilled cinnamon buns, and Imperials are prominent, but wide-ranging.

And Tobans lovingly nurture borrowed delights.

Sorry, Europe: Manitoba is Perogy Central. Proof: frenzied production at myriad churches and perogy businesses. Perogy Planet makes 27 varieties. Consider Save On Foods’ perogy bar, Danny Schur’s play, The Perogy Supper Miracle, The Ukrainian Oldtimers’ tune, The Perogy Dance. It’s a cheesy and potato song.

Sorry, Scotland: Indigenous peoples now elevate bannock with creative burgers, pizza, tacos.

Sorry, Iceland: Manitoba embraces fantastic prune-based vinarterta. But I see other than prunes. Icing. And round; how would that even taste? Where’s the rulebook?

So, what iconic, distinctive fare would I suggest to visiting foodies? Here are my Top Ten defining delights:

10. The Manitoba Midnighter. Midnights at socials, revellers amass cubed cheese, salami, ham, kubasa, pickles between margarine-slathered rye bread; chips an option.

Eating this demands co-ordination, ten fingers — surely easier at 9 p.m. I know from social studies.

The sandwich bears no name. Cuba claims “The Midnighter.” How about “The Manitoba Midnighter?”

Available exclusively in raucous halls. Tickets: $10.

9. Smoked Winnipeg goldeye. Several restaurants offer Manitoba’s fish specialty. Enthusiasts rave. Mind you, it’s dyed red-orange, usually embellished with capers, cream cheese, dill, lemon juice, spicy sauce.

Some Winnipeg supermarkets and Gimli Fish Market sell it.

At Gimli, try Sveinson’s Fish or Smith’s Fish. Say both three times.

8. Morden’s Russian Mints. Winnipeg is home to the Canadian Mint, and the Russian Mint — both money-makers.

They’re unrelated to anything Russian, so I needn’t boycott Russian Mints praying Putin relents.

Proclaimed “World Famous,” they’re addictively smooth chocolates. Boxes warn “Best opened and used within 2 weeks of purchase.” Why? No problem.

7. Jeanne’s cake. Here’s the test to know if someone’s from Winnipeg: despite the spelling, you say “Jeanneees.”

Youngsters try ice cream, cake, and the shortbread base in each mouthful. Childish. It’s hard to do.

The white cake, please. Marble is the big seller but years ago I stopped eating marbles.

6. Shmoo tort. Its inventor and name a mystery, shmoos celebrate pecans, whipped cream, and caramel. Baked Expectation’s server says, “That’s sort of our main cake.”

It’s sort of my main cake.

5. Honey dill sauces. In Carman I overheard at Syl’s Drive Inn, “I’ll have mozza sticks with honey dill. And chicken fingers with honey dill. And extra honey dill.” A true Toban.

Mitzi’s Restaurant nails it. Greetalia Foods insists its bottled recipe is “World Famous!” – hopefully beyond Carman.

4. Old Country Wieners. Montreal boasts its Steamie, New York its Coney, but local stores, food-trucks and eateries boast Manitoba’s, yes, “Word Famous” wiener. With smoked pork, beef, and unique spices, they’re in Australian Marino sheep casing – for that snap.

Originally created by Winnipeg Old Country Sausage for Skinner’s at Lockport, I met Old Country’s wonderful hard-working president, Mr. Werner – and I didn’t call him Mr. Wiener.

3. Farmer Sausage. This great-tasting smoked raw pork sausage is made commercially by eight producers; behind farm gates, by hundreds.

It now adorns bennies, omelets, pizza, poutine. Try the Big Bad Wolfe burger at Winkler’s Charley B’s with farmer sausage, bacon, ham. I exclaim, “Yum!”

And “Oink!”

2. Winnipeg rye bread. Perfectly crusty, chewy, and caraway-free, restaurant servers still ask, “White, brown or rye?”

Saturdays, I frequent City Bread. Others strenuously champion KUB, Natural, Harvest, Gunn’s. Winnipeg’s rye divides, yet unites.

Bakers apparently don’t compete on cost, or taste — but longevity. Natural says “Since 1957!” City: “For over 50 years.” Kub: “Since 1923!”

I hear City is twenty cents off Tuesdays. I’m switching from Saturdays.

If only, dang, it was oldest.

1. The Fat Boy. Onto super-loaded cheeseburgers, George, Gus, and John Scouras introduced a beef sauce with garlic, chili powder, paprika, and cinnamon that an uncle, who owned Fort William Coney Island and Winnipeg’s Original Food Bar, concocted to cover spaghetti, hotdogs, and aprons.

Launched at Junior’s on Main, and reportedly named by Dairi-Wip’s Mike Lambos, it’s a genre to itself – like Minneapolis’s Juicy Lucy or the Midwest’s slider – a synergetic package, greater than the sum of its parts.

Super Boy’s write on their wrapping “Enjoy!” More fitting: “Good luck!” – because half escapes across a metre-wide radius.

About 20 joints offer Fat Boys, with fresh-cut fries — also proving Manitoba’s french fry supremacy.

Hey, foodies: leave some for us.

gordmackintosh@hotmail.com