Columnist really nailing the holiday spirit

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/12/2022 (1334 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and for the first time that includes my toenails.

Somehow I managed to get through the past 66 years on this planet without allowing anyone to paint festive images on my gnarly toenails, but that all changed last week.

For the record, it wasn’t my idea. No, it was another brilliant idea from my adventurous buddy Joe Grande, whose Mona Lisa Ristorante Italiano has been a culinary icon on Corydon Avenue for almost four decades.

When Joe suggested that we join him for a pre-Christmas guys night out, my buddy Bob and I jumped at the chance to spend time with a friend who is even more famous for his gregarious personality than he is for his delicious Italian food.

So there we were, perched at the bar in Mona Lisa, enjoying a festive beverage, when Joe ordered Bob and me to grab our drinks and follow him down the back hall, through a closed door, and into what used to be the restaurant’s private corporate room.

Just over a month ago, that room was converted into the second Winnipeg location of Cedar Tree Nail Salon, a family business run by two sisters who are dedicated to putting your feet first, so to speak.

“I want to support my new neighbours,” Joe said as we marched into the salon, “so we’re going to have pedicures for the holidays.”

Which is when the nail technicians who work in the salon ordered the three of us to sit down in ultra-modern leather chairs that looked as if they had been stolen from the Starship Enterprise.

It turns out that our pal Joe, what with being a hip and modern restaurateur, has had a few pedicures in his day, whereas Bob and I were pretty much rookies.

It is not easy, using mere words, to describe how relaxing this spa experience was, but for your benefit I am going to give it the old journalistic try: It was really, really relaxing.

For approximately 30 minutes, during which the three of us sipped single-malt scotch and engaged in what we believed to be witty banter, the salon staff rubbed, stroked and squeezed our feet as if they were large tubes of toothpaste as opposed to fairly unattractive appendages at the end of our legs.

They whittled away the most unsightly parts of our feet with what looked like large cheese graters and frequently ordered us to dip them into large tubs of warm water that were illuminated from the bottom.

A highlight was the part of the process wherein they intensely massaged our calves with a sugar scrub that had been turned bright holiday green by the addition of some manner of mint-smelling substance.

“I will give you two hours to stop doing that,” I quipped to the technician working diligently on my legs.

When our feet were in a pristine state of freshness and relaxation, they hit us with a difficult question — “Do you want your nails decorated?”

Which is when Joe, Bob and I quickly conferred and decided, hey, we are three modern guys who are not afraid to be trendsetters, so, sure, let’s get our toenails painted for the holidays.

Salon co-owner Vicky Huynh explained their staff are the Michelangelos of the nail world and, working freehand, can transform a client’s toenails into almost anything under the sun. These masterpieces last for about a month.

After pondering this decision for several vital seconds, I agreed to have a dog’s paw prints painted on one big toenail in honour of my two mutts, while my other big toe was decorated with a cat’s face to represent the kitty my daughter adopted a little over a month ago before moving home from Ontario.

“My toes represent world peace,” I explained with all the seriousness I could muster. “A dog and a cat living together in peace and harmony at Christmastime in the same pair of socks.”

Our buddy Joe, who has been glued to his TV watching the World Cup of Soccer, even though Italy didn’t qualify this year, had his toes painted to represent his love of the beautiful game — his big toenails were turned into black-and-white soccer balls, while his smaller nails were alternately painted black and white.

For his part, Bob opted for a traditional Christmas theme, with trees on one big toe, snowflakes on the other, and the rest of his nails alternating between red and green. “They are a colourful medley of Christmas themes,” Bob told us. “Red sparkles, green sparkles, snowflakes and Christmas trees. It’s the holiday season and you have to celebrate with your toes.”

As we admired our newly festive feet, Vicky the salon owner said she hopes more guys of our gender will find the courage to not only come in for pedicures, but to have their toes decked out, possibly with the logos of their favourite sports teams.

Right now men account for only a tiny fraction of their business, and almost none agree to have their nails painted.

It’s time for that to change, guys. If you want to make 2023 a better year, you have to put your best foot forward.

dougspeirs65@gmail.com