‘We’re not afraid to hide’: defiant siblings refuse to give abuser last word

Two siblings who suffered repeated and horrific sexual assaults as children confronted their abuser in a Winnipeg courtroom on Wednesday, describing how he shattered their lives and how they’ve picked up the pieces.

Thomas Martin Butler, 69, was convicted in provincial court last fall of more than a dozen of sex and violent crimes committed between 1994 and 1998 on siblings Jeffery and Raven-Dominique Gobeil, now in their 30s.

“Mr. Butler committed innumerable acts of serious sexual violence of extremely young children in his care for years,” said Crown prosecutor Boyd McGill.

“The truth of what occurred in the ‘90s is out in the open now.”

The siblings spoke openly in court on Wednesday, after they requested the standard publication ban on their identities not be put in place, to allow themselves to be publicly identified as victims.

Butler, who is the father of the pair’s half-siblings, made the young children in his care abuse each other or watch others be abused, said McGill. He also frequently forced them to consume alcohol or drugs, in part to dull their senses.

Butler involved other adults in the abuse and made threats about what could happen if the children told anyone.

Jeffery was between three and eight when he was abused, while Raven-Dominque was between two and six.

Raven-Dominque, 33, is a lawyer who has focused her career on child welfare law, while Jeffery, 34, is a comedian and social worker. They’re members of Poplar River First Nation.

Jeffery told the Free Press on Thursday he and his sister asked for no publication ban in the hopes of comforting and inspiring other victims of abuse who feel ashamed.

“Part of it was showing we’re not afraid to hide, not only from the abuser, but from the facts of the case.”

“Part of it was showing we’re not afraid to hide, not only from the abuser, but from the facts of the case,” said Jeffery.

“There wasn’t always a time when we thought a guilty verdict was possible, so we thought, ‘Maybe if we don’t cover up our names… maybe some other people can come forward with their own future cases.’” But the other side… is just to put a face to a victim, essentially.”

Butler frequently threatened further violence against Jeffery, like being taken into child welfare care or to jail by police, if he told anyone what happened to him as a child, he said.

On Wednesday, the pair spoke forcefully and emotionally in court as they read out victim impact statements, describing the abuse they suffered, its lasting effects on their mental health and lives, and what they’ve since built.

“I have worked hard and continue to work hard to do well. I’ve climbed from the depths of hell, overcome unimaginable and unspeakable horrors, and I survived so that I can thrive. That is a privilege,” Raven-Dominique said in court.

“I am a woman that 14-year-old me could never have dreamed of becoming or even recognized, because I was certain that I was never going to live past 15. And most importantly, I am a woman that would have protected two-year-old me.”

“I have worked hard and continue to work hard to do well. I’ve climbed from the depths of hell, overcome unimaginable and unspeakable horrors, and I survived so that I can thrive. That is a privilege.”

In court, she said, “Mr. Butler does not deserve my silence.”

“The truth is that the benefits of my silence are far outweighed by the costs,” she said.

Jeffery said in court that he did not understand what was happening to him at the time of the abuse and did not have the ability to protect himself.

“I was placed in the care of Thomas Martin Butler due to family circumstances and I trusted him as an adult who was responsible for my safety,” he said in his victim impact statement.

The abuse followed him throughout his life, with feelings of anger, depression, isolation and difficulties with relationships. It has cost him time, emotional effort and financial resources to work through it in therapy, he said.

It was hard to testify, Jeffery said, but the guilty verdict has helped in his healing, as although it does not erase what happened, it acknowledges it.

He told the court his impact statement was originally much longer — 17 pages — but he cut it down, as he did not want Butler to derive pleasure from hearing of what the abuse did to Jeffery.

“Mr. Butler does not deserve my silence.”

Jeffery told the Free Press he’s written a one-man show based on his experience — titled Victim Impact Statement.

McGill is asking the court to sentence Butler to 25 years in prison. His lawyer, Mike Cook, asked for 10 years in prison, given his age and health issues. He’s to be sentenced later this year.

erik.pindera@freepress.mb.ca