Healthier choices are surely within reach

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/06/2021 (1942 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I know that I have a tendency to exaggerate wildly, but the truth is this is something that happens to me all the time.

It happened again, suddenly and without warning, late last week as I bravely pushed my little shopping cart up and down the aisles of our local grocery store.

As I strolled, heroically ignoring shelves groaning with cookies and other sugary delights, I heard a plaintive voice crying out from behind my back.

“Sir! Sir! Sir!” the voice called out. “Can you please help me?”

Displaying cat-like agility and an acute sense of hearing, I spun my cart around and there, standing at the end of the aisle, in front of a large section of coolers, was a tiny, elderly woman with a frantic look in her eyes, clearly visible over her stylish non-medical mask.

“How may I be of service?” I asked gallantly after pulling up alongside this shopper in distress.

Which is when she pointed up at the top shelf of a cooler and asked whether I would be kind enough to reach up and fetch her a container of zero per cent fat-free milk.

When I say this happens to me all the time, I am being brutally honest. When you are a shade over six-foot-four, it is not unusual for shorter shoppers to seek your services in times of crisis.

If I were a superhero, my special power would be the ability to get food items down from the top shelf. It probably would not sell a lot of comic books, but still … it’s nice to be handy.

So I stretched out a hand and plucked the requested item from the cooler and handed it down to the grateful senior standing next to me.

“Thank you,” she chirped. “My husband and I put this in our coffee.”

Which made me smirk a little smirk and chirp: “You put zero-per-cent milk in your coffee? Ha ha ha! I think what you need is that 10 per cent half-and-half cream. I put that gunk in my coffee every morning.”

Which is when the woman gave me a sad little look and then stared with laser-like intensity at my stomach, which, like the universe itself, is constantly expanding.

“Hmm,” she said, taking stock of my belly and frowning a medically significant frown. “You know, I used to be a dietitian. It’s really important to be careful about what you put into your body.”

I nodded in agreement, thanked her for the advice and then we slowly went our separate ways. For the record, I did not buy a package of double-stuffed Oreos, even though I felt I’d earned a treat.

When I got home, I described the encounter to my wife, who thought it was funny and sweet and a good reminder that I need to keep a careful eye on what I stuff into my face.

It would be hard to forget, considering I am frequently bombarded with health tips. For instance, the same thing happened last month when I sat down for an interview with Gordon Pullan, who at 95 is Manitoba’s oldest lawyer, having been in practice for the last 70 years, longer than almost every other lawyer in the country has been alive.

Gordon, who turns 96 on June 16, still goes to work roughly three times a week and is famous for being remarkably compassionate, extremely quick-witted and totally candid.

Sitting in a ninth-floor boardroom, we had a wonderful chat and Gordon had me splitting my sides with his off-the-cuff remarks about almost everything.

At one point, I cheerfully confessed: “You know, Gordon, I can’t imagine living to be 95 or 96 years old.”

Without skipping a beat, he sized me up and declared: “Get rid of your stomach! No, I’ll tell you you’re walking around carrying a heavy load.”

Which is when he recalled watching an episode of Oprah Winfrey’s show in 1988 wherein the talk show legend famously wheeled out a little red wagon containing a clear bag stuffed with 67 pounds of animal fat — the amount of weight she’d lost through diet and exercise — just to show her audience what she’d accomplished.

“I’m sure your doctor has told you more than once,” Gordon said as I nodded my head in agreement. “I’m used to giving advice.”

For the record, years after dragging the big bag of fat onstage, Oprah confided to Entertainment Tonight: “Big, big, big, big, big, big, big mistake! When I look at that show, I think it was one of the biggest ego trips of my life.”

The strange thing is that I can clearly remember the 33-year-old version of myself sitting in the den and watching that particular episode of Oprah. It made a big impression on me at the time, even though in those days I was still on the skinny side of the spectrum.

Today, I am determined to do better. I am determined to heed the wise advice that is being offered to me by talk show legends and regular people.

No longer will I adhere to the outdated notion that having a balanced diet means holding a beer in each hand. Instead, I will reach for healthier options — even if I have to get them down from the top shelf.

doug.speirs@freepress.mb.ca