Father knows best

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This article was published 19/06/2021 (1748 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Just in time for Father’s Day, Steve Patterson has a public service announcement to make: not all dad jokes are bad jokes.

“I’ve been a comedian a lot longer than I’ve been a dad, and I know that dads have a reputation,” says the 50-year-old comedian, host of CBC Radio One’s The Debaters and father of two, from his office in Toronto. “When you hear the term ‘dad jokes,’ It’s like the guy bringing out the guitar at the party that doesn’t know how to play guitar, and that’s the time you leave the party. But just because you’re a dad doesn’t mean all your jokes from here on in are not going to be funny.”

For his latest project, Patterson — who lives in Toronto with his wife/manager Nancy and their two girls, six-year-old Scarlett and Norah, who is nearly two — has chronicled life growing up the youngest of five boys, his foray into fatherhood and the pitfalls of trying to conceive in his book Dad Up! Long-Time Comedian. First-Time Father.

Patterson pivoted to writing Dad Up! when life as a touring comic was put on hold due to the pandemic. “It was kind of nice to get to expand on my thoughts,” he says. “In standup you’re often trying to make the joke quick; with this process it was kind of stretching things out.”

Dad Up!, while not a self-help book, finds Patterson relaying words of wisdom (with plenty of hilarious asides) gleaned from both being a kid and a dad. “I had to be conscious that it wasn’t just going to be a memoir about me, it was going to be about dadding in general, the family experience… the fact that I included parts about our difficulties having children was not something I had intended to do, but my wife encouraged me to. And I’m glad I did — that part seems to be resonating with people.”

After a series of miscarriages, Steve and Nancy entered a fertility program. In Dad Up! Patterson recalls the automated calls they’d get from the fertility clinic at the ideal time they should try to conceive a child. The pair would then drop everything, quickly getting themselves in the mood (and between the sheets).

But the world works in strange and mysterious ways and, in the end, Scarlett’s conception proved spontaneous — specifically, in a Regina hotel room while the couple were in town for the 2013 Grey Cup.

Patterson’s stand-up routine already included some musings on fatherhood thanks to his Irish Catholic upbringing and his father, John “Slim” Patterson. “A lot of my standup was already based on things that my dad had instilled in me,” he says. Dad Up! offered the comic the chance to explore his own childhood in greater detail. “It was nice to walk down memory lane. Being the youngest of five brothers, they had tried everything ridiculous before me, so my dad didn’t even trying to stop me,” he says. “I’m from the era where parents didn’t even think of looking for their children before a TV station reminded them, ‘it’s 11 p.m. – do you know where your children are?’ Suddenly it’s ‘oh yeah — we have children… we should check on them.’”

And while he has enjoyed being around his family much more during the pandemic, Patterson hopes kids Scarlett’s age and older can cope with a return to “normal” once the social isolation comes to an end. “Kids need other kids to hang out with — even when they have really immature fathers,” he says, laughing. As for Norah? “I joke that the pandemic, for a two year old, is by comparison a lot less constricting than the quarantine they just went through — you know, floating in fluid for nine months.”

Once the pandemic’s done, Patterson figures life as a touring comic will include his family as often as possible. “I don’t do club tours like I used to, where I’d be on the road for six weeks at the time. I think if I have to be on the road for an extended period of time now, I’m going to find a way to bring my family with me.”

When his family has come with him in the past, Scarlett has already proven to have some solid comedy chops of her own. “When she comes for sound check in theatres, she’s able to crack up the old grizzled staff that have never paid attention to me during the sound check — she’s ready to be on stage.”

And if Scarlett decides she has an interest in doing stand up herself, Patterson’s not too worried. “It would be pretty hypocritical of me to say ‘don’t go into comedy’ after having spent 20 years in it myself. I’m fully aware of the time it takes to establish yourself, and how many people want to do it versus how many paid opportunities there are. But having storytelling chops and having a good sense of humour can take you far, no matter what you’re doing.

“If she decides to embrace it and go into the field, then I’ll support her however I can,” he says, taking a well-timed comic beat before adding “except financially. I’d like to be financially independent in a few years.”

ben.sigurdson@freepress.mb.ca