New yule rules Thoughtful gift-giving plan focuses on quality, avoids mindless spending By: AV Kitching Posted: 6:15 PM CST Thursday, Dec. 18, 2025

It’s the time of year when the countdown to gift-giving hits full speed and the pressure to buy, buy, buy ramps up.

It seems almost inevitable that we will simply spend more as the holidays nudge so many of us to snap up things we don’t strictly need, often with money we don’t quite have.

In an already consumer-centric society, December puts us into buying overdrive as we splash the cash — or rather, tap our cards — spending in haste only to regret at leisure when the bills start trickling in come January.

Conditioned over time by the ease of online shopping (plus free shipping), it’s all too easy to “add to cart” on autopilot.

Limited-time offers designed to activate the idea of scarcity, advertisements that evoke feelings of nostalgia or online influencers giving us examples of what holiday gifting should look like all have the same aim: to encourage us to make a purchase.

When combined, these pressure points can influence shopping behaviours, causing us to get swept up in retail fervour.

“Holidays are very emotional times of year. They’re about celebration, and they’re about anticipation as the calendar moves into the new year,” says Kelley Main, professor of marketing at the Asper School of Business.

“There’s all kinds of traditions steeped around these time periods, which are partly affected by our past, our family patterns and all the information we encounter as we go about our lives as consumers. In some cases, people have a hard time expressing how much someone means to them, so they overly focus on giving something because they’re trying to find a way to quantify their feelings.”

Consumer spending on gifts also rises during times of uncertainty. Anxiety about external circumstances, whether in our personal lives or in the wider world, triggers a desire to take back the reins. Buying things can give us a sense of control during turbulent times

“In some cases, people have a hard time expressing how much someone means to them, so they overly focus on giving something because they’re trying to find a way to quantify their feelings.”

Cultural and societal norms also shape the gift-giving culture. Expectations come from different quarters — family, friends or colleagues whose traditions involve exchanging presents — which we can find ourselves caught up in.

“This activates the norm of reciprocity. It’s a deeply ingrained norm which affects a lot of our behaviours. When someone gives you something, you’ll want to give something back; it means that you can’t just take it and say thanks,” Main explains.

But it’s not too late to change the way we gift. Families who decide to prioritize spending time together instead of getting each other gifts can reduce holiday pressure because they’ve moved the goalposts, Main says.

“So the norm has changed: the norm isn’t about giving something to open, the norm is now about giving time. But it does require everyone to agree to that. If one person doesn’t, then you’re back to Square 1.’

One trend currently doing the rounds is the Seven-Gift Rule, which encourages planning and thinking before buying.

The strategy to minimize holiday gift giving encourages the giver to consider seven specific categories: want, need, read, wear, to do, for the individual and for the family (not all of which have to be fulfilled; see sidebar).

Focusing on meaningful gifts this way not only keeps spending in check but also shows more thought and care.

Choosing fewer, well-chosen items cuts down on waste and clutter, while thoughtful planning can help avoid feelings of last-minute panic.

It’s a good starting point for those looking to cut back on present giving this holiday season, whatever the reason.

It’s still consumption, but in a more intentional and mindful manner. Making small changes can make holiday shopping feel more purposeful, shifting the focus from how much is being spent to why a gift is given.

Main advises setting up for success by identifying personal values to support and anchor mindful gift-giving practices.

Deciding to combat excessive waste by reducing consumption, choosing to make something, buying handmade items created by local makers and artists, and opting for vintage or second-hand items instead of buying new will help you stand firm in the face of cultural pressure.

“There’s different sort of approaches that you could take. I would encourage people to think about the ways they can give gifts related to spending time together. It could be deciding that everyone is going to spend a Friday night doing a games night instead of going out to a movie and committing to it,” Main says.

For us not to be manipulated by external messaging, we need to come up with strategies that overcome some of the things that are pressuring us to buy. Sometimes it could be as simple as setting a budget tied to actual dollar bills.

“As a consumer, if you find you struggle with staying on a budget because it’s too easy to use a bank card or a credit card, then maybe using cash will help you stay within the bounds you’d like to establish for yourself for the holidays,” Main says.

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