Necking leads to no good

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This article was published 08/11/2018 (2511 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

From Mrs. Thompson Advises, published in the Winnipeg Free Press on March 5, 1942

Dear Mrs. Thompson: I am writing on behalf of a club, and we would like to know your attitude towards necking. Our group range in age from 17 to 19, and are of the “don’t give a darn” sophisticated type. Yet when with boys, we are very careful, especially with those who always seem to be a step ahead of you.  We all go for a little necking, and think it has its right place. We haven’t been going steady with any particular boys, and have most of our dates for dancing. As you know, dances are closely connected with cars, and cars usually lead the boys to necking.

Now don’t get me wrong – we come from highly respectable families. We merely wish to gain more knowledge of nature, and are learning more every day, but still have much to learn.

Here is our main problem: We have come to the conclusion that all boys are the same in on respect, namely, they all try to see what they can get out of a girl. Almost all boys ask the girls to come across. This really scares us, and we are very much afraid of twosomes, and stick to foursomes for better protection.

We don’t think much of our present technique, which is asking boys, “What would your mother think?” when they are boys we have known for a long time and whose parents we know and respect.  But this doesn’t always apply to all boys, anyway.  How should we deal with the situation? –XY Club

Dear XY: What you girls need first is to clarify your own ideas on the subject of sex, and get more information.  Learning about human nature by the personal experiment method is risky and slow. You can safely find out all the answers in one evening by reading good books.  Start with “What a Young Girl Should Know,” “The Doctor’s Daughter,” or “Sex and the Young” by Marie Stopes. Then you might graduate to “Married Love,” also by Marie Stopes.

You are not too young to know the facts it contains, as girls of 18 are old enough to get married without their parents’ consent, and you are admittedly exposed to temptation. The more you know, the better protected you will be. The book will also give you a high-minded attitude towards the place of sex in human life, and make you realize the cheapening effect of loose or foolish conduct.

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“Men, Women and God” by Herbert Gray will further emphasize this point.  Right now, more than ever, it is the patriotic duty of girls to be their best selves, and make boys realize the value of personal dignity and self-control.

I am against necking with casual dates. A couple in love are entitle to occasional romantic moments, for they are protected to some extend by their dreams for the future, and have a high regard for each other. But when a girl sits in a parked car with a boy who doesn’t mean anything to her, and lets him paw her, she is just asking for trouble. She can’t blame him for making advances and can’t tell how inflammable her emotions or his will be. Good-night kisses between pairs are permissible, but not necking.

Asking a fresh boy what his mother would think is futile. Either he doesn’t care what she thinks, or he resents being reminded of her. Much better treat the whole matter lightly, but show you mean what you say. Sometimes it is effective to make remarks like, “Sorry, I’ve given up necking for the duration,” or “I only neck on Feb. 29,” or “Didn’t you know I had foot and mouth disease,” then go on talking about something else.

“If you slap a boy down slightly and administer flattery at the same time, you can usually make your point without offending him.”

Another method is to look the boy in the eye and say, “No dice. If you’re doing this because you think I expect it, you’re wrong, and if it’s your own idea, get a better one. Any moron can neck, but it takes a bright boy to talk the way you do. Why don’t you tell me more about…” and mention his pet subject.

If you slap a boy down slightly and administer flattery at the same time, you can usually make your point without offending him.  Also, if you are attractive, accomplished and good at the oh-how-wonderful-you-are line, you can be popular without necking.  Boys whose aim is neck or nothing aren’t worth having as friends.

Further reading: Married Love by Marie Stopes: