Bald move could end up pleasing you both

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/11/2023 (692 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband has lost most of his hair in the last few years, and now he wants to get a wig. I must admit they look good on the guys in the advertisements, but just the thought of him pulling wigs on and off for different occasions is a turn-off to me, particularly at bedtime.

I must admit I wear glamour wigs sometimes when we go out, and he says he isn’t turned off when I take them off. But then, I have my own full head of hair underneath.

I find a totally bald head sexier on a man. I even think Mr. Clean looks hot! I told my husband this, but he didn’t buy it. Please advise us.

— No Wig-Flipping, Thanks, Silver Heights

Dear No Wig-Flipping: You can both have what you want. If your husband is willing to shave off his fringe, you can have a totally bald and sexy lover at night. Then in the daytime your husband can wear whichever style of wig he wants when he’s leaving the house. Try it; you might like it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend of four years has just dumped me! I went into a kind of shock — no words back, nothing but my blank face staring at his mouth as it was moving. All he could say was it was “past time” and he “just wasn’t into us anymore” and more stupid words like that. They meant absolutely nothing to me!

I guess he wanted to see a more emotional reaction to losing him, so he went on to insult my “workhorse” personality and my “pathetic dream” of becoming a high school basketball coach. I thought after four years of being together we were on the way to getting married. I’ve never ever made love with anyone else, and we weathered a pregnancy scare together last summer.

The day after the breakup, I received a nervous call from a close friend. She told me she’d spotted my tall blond boyfriend getting out of his truck, and walking with his arm around “some girl” into a liquor store, just before closing. They came out with two identical packages, and put them down. Then they had a big long kiss, like they were celebrating something, and took off together.

I managed to ask my friend to describe the girl she’d been staring at. She described my barely 18-year-old sex-bomb cousin to a tee. I almost fainted on my end of the phone. That little witch has been jealous of me since she hit puberty.

I’m walking around like a robot now and I can’t feel anything. I haven’t told my family yet. I’m so desperate for rest, I’m taking sleeping pills I stole from my mother. Please help me through this!

— Betrayed By Cousin, St. Vital

Dear Betrayed: Ask your mother to talk to you in total privacy. Tell her everything that’s happened, and the tears will start coming, so just cry your eyes out for your own emotional health. Let your mom hold you and comfort you.

Be well aware she’ll go from that session to tell your dad, because he loves you, too. He’ll also be upset and angry on your behalf, and that’s a good thing. Then you’ll have a small army on your side, so expect it to make some moves. Your angry mom — the general — will likely get right on the phone to the mother of the “sex bomb,” and the secret relationship will be outed! That will be nasty for the new romantic couple — being exposed for the back-stabbers they are.

If they try to phone and tell you off, don’t give either of them the satisfaction of even answering. Focus on your own needs now. For instance, you need to consider counselling services at your college or university, so you can quickly get well enough to get back into classes and studying hard again.

The upside of this? Be glad you found out the nature of your ex’s personality now, as he might have married you and then cheated with somebody when you already had children with him.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.