Offer heckling loudmouths their own surprise solo

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/06/2024 (819 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I play in a band and my new girlfriend was there specially to hear me when this drunk idiot got up in front of the stage during our final set. He started shouting repeatedly, “Play ‘I’m Too Sexy’.”

Yes, we knew how to play that stupid song by Right Said Fred, but no, we didn’t want this bar star and his drunk sports team getting in on our act. In the end, we finished our set 15 minutes early and the manager had to deal with them.

But it made for a bad feeling, and people started leaving the bar early, so less booze was sold. What should we have done?

— Annoyed by Idiot, Westwood

Dear Annoyed: Here’s a clever band move I saw unfold in a bar: the band leader invited a heckling drunk guy up and pretended he was going to give him his guitar to perform. Then, the band members immediately jumped up for a break.

Loudmouth had to perform all by himself — or back off. In the end, he walked back to his seat, where his buddies jeered him.

When he sat down, the band immediately came back and played the end of their set. The pub manager seemed just fine with that, so he was probably in on the trick.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The man who signed his letter as Bridal Shower Virgin sounded like a considerate man who’s somewhat shy. He doesn’t want to miss the shower and disappoint his friend, the bride, but he also doesn’t want to make a mistake with his choice of gift.

Here’s a suggestion: since the party host is a good friend of the bride-to-be, this fellow could just ask her if she’s registered at particular stores for gift choices, so he’ll be sure to get her something she’ll really appreciate.

— Modern Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Modern Guy: Good idea. Another possibility for this first-timer is to ask the bride (his friend) what kind of funky party gear or fancy liqueurs she would favour for putting on fancy get-togethers once she’s a married lady. Then he can go shopping at some fun places with a female buddy for company.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My friend lost her husband and now she doesn’t want to come out to see us — the wives and girlfriends who always get together. She feels like the only woman without a mate. I must admit our men come into the conversations too much. Still, some of the women have broken up with mates over the years and totally changed men, and it wasn’t such a big deal.

How can we convince this friend she doesn’t have to be paired up to stay and enjoy our group? What a shame this will be if we lose her and it really seems we will.

— We Love This Woman. St. James

Dear Love This Woman: This girlfriend may not have tuned into all the conversations about your mates before her husband died, but now they stand out. She has nothing to add, and it reminds her she’s still in mourning for her guy and she’s all alone. So, hang in with her and start calling her for more small group events such as movies and concerts.

Groups of two or three will be easier for her just now. Stick to chatting about the activity and totally involve her — and that will help her recover her confidence within the group and stop her from feeling like she’s only half of something.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography