Spousal standoff could sabotage summer setup

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband is a funny guy — or at least thinks he is. He was sorry to say goodbye to our lake friends, and had too much to drink at the farewell party. My guy foolishly insulted my girlfriend’s husband — he called him “an idiot.”

But he’s her idiot, if you know what I mean. My friend loves him. There was no apology offered by my husband, then or since. He’s not at all sorry!

My girlfriend phoned today and told me her husband refuses to rent the cottage beside us again next summer. They might not even come to the same lake, so we won’t see each other at all. I’m heartbroken!

The rentals we had next door to each other were wonderful, and our kids are matched in ages and interests, and get along so well. Now what? I’m very fond of her, as she was like the sister I never had, but we don’t live in the same city. I really want to get our summer living situation back again. What can I do?

— Lost My Soul Sister? River Heights

Dear Lost: You and your girlfriend didn’t cause this fight, but you’re going to have to settle it without much help from the husbands. It’s a shame when the parents are squabbling, and the actual kids will have to suffer next summer, without their friends.

Time might heal this rift, but that’s not likely if your husband doesn’t apologize to your friend’s angry mate. Frankly, it doesn’t sound like your guy is the type to humble himself, even on the phone.

However, you two women could settle this down. Keep on quietly talking to your girlfriend on the phone, and give this fight a bit more time to cool off. What might be acceptable later on — to your husbands — would be for the two families to still rent at the same lake, but not quite as close to each other.

That way, you two moms and the kids can always meet down at the beach during the day.

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a first year student starting university and I have no experience with meeting new people. I come from a small town, where I knew literally everyone. I have an on-campus room in a big residence, but that isn’t a comforting situation, because I’m very shy.

I hope I can find some friends, but I think I’m going to need some magic. Please help me deal with this.

— Lonely, University of Manitoba

Dear Lonely: Don’t hide in your residence room! Everybody outside your room will be hoping to make friends — particularly other first-year students. Many are just as new and lonely as you are. There are many events and activities planned specifically to help residence people mix, particularly in September, so you need to come out and say hello to people who want to meet you.

Scared to go alone? Just try a couple different events, for a limited amount of time. Promise yourself you’ll go for 20-30 minutes, before you allow yourself go back to your room. Tell yourself, “If I don’t go, I could be missing out on new friends I need, and who need me.”

Also, look beyond your residence for new friends in group activities or clubs based on your own interests. Get involved in something you really enjoyed back home — like a sport, playing music, board games or a hobby. Universities always have groups looking for new participants at the beginning of the year, and they will welcome you.

The trick is to over-join during first year to check things out, and then only stick with the activities you really enjoy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.